On turning 30

Contra my previous Thoughts on 29 , I did not just turn 30. I started being 30 almost a year ago, and I will soon stop being 30 and start being 31. This is a new writing technique I recently learned of called the non-prophetic perfect tense , in which you describe past events that are so certain to have happened that you refer to them in the past tense as if they had already happened. Because they…