Phillies Fan Demands Home Run Ball, Cites "Emotional Support Investment" Portfolio

PHILADELPHIA, PA – In a shocking display of financial fortitude and unbridled passion, local Phillies fan and self-proclaimed "cardboard connoisseur," Brenda "The Bullpen Baroness" Butterfield, 42, successfully negotiated the transfer of a highly coveted Harrison Bader home run ball from a bewildered father and his son this past Sunday. Butterfield, who was seen emphatically demanding the ball,…