A totally objective ranking of configuration languages

My friends and I decided to do a weekly blog challenge for the month of April 2026! Each week, one of us chooses a prompt and we all write posts. For week 3, Dave chose the prompt: “How do you compute? (Explain what computers you use, ones you used to use, software you use, just whatever you think answers the question)” Sam: “How Do I Computer” Jared: “” Dave: “How I Compute (2026)” My general…