Controlling an air-gapped robot vacuum from Home Assistant using synthesized speech

Listen to this post: I have a Dreame L40 Ultra to vacuum and mop around my home. The Dreame app requires the robot to have internet access to receive commands, send status information, or modify scheduling. Not being a fan of audio-video recording devices roaming freely in my home, I keep it offline. Unfortunately, this means no Home Assistant integration possibilities, and painful schedule…