schizophrenia? reeeallyyy?

trying to let my diagnosis sink into my brain feels terrifying. like that's really me? i knew it, i've been knowing for years... but at the same time i really didn't want to believe it. but i really needed help. why do i have to suffer? why did my illness become a cool quirky thing to "want"? i'm in hell, dude. schizophrenia and bipolar— or, you know, also known as "schizoaffective" is just one of…