my birthday - or a brief intention for my late 30s

Despite having to go in for work, this is the first birthday I haven't been flooded with anxiety for a long time. It's not about getting older as I have felt relatively neutral about aging compared to many of my peers. But I have spent the last few years in a depression fog that intensifies around my birthday. This isn't where I thought my life would be at this point: leaving teaching behind (for…