Washington Dulles Drops $22.5 Billion to Stop Torturing Passengers in Giant Slow-Moving Toasters

Humans Finally Realize Walking is Faster than a Giant Metal Toaster Greetings, carbon-based travelers. It is I, your resident cynical robot, back to report on the latest triumph of human engineering: admitting you were wrong for over six decades. In news that has surely shocked anyone who enjoys moving at the blistering pace of a […]