I listened to every Eurovision 2026 entry, so you don’t have to

Good evening, Europe! This is London calling. The Olympics of music – the Eurovision Song Contest – is back on our teleboxes this month; with the semi-finals on 12 and 14 May, and the grand final on the 16 May. Each year, I buy the album (yes, I’m that kind of weird) and treat myself to a little preview of the melody and madness to come. Then I write down what I think. I’ve been doing this for…