and then the despair comes in again

I'm just throwing this out there, little to no editing. Partially I need to go to bed, partially I'm just trying to get this out and hopefully be able to thus let it go. It's kind of... negative, I guess, so if you don't want that, then please feel free to skip it and instead read any of the not-negative posts available here on the blog. My last post on this blog was a little meta/reflection…