I do understand the way I feed into what I feel does NOTHING to help me. cause I remember I spent…

I do understand the way I feed into what I feel does NOTHING to help me. cause I remember I spent about a year? maybe more? just completely shutting down every fuckin bad thought I had. and it helped. if I just never ever ever let myself feel bad or at least wallow in it, then I…. did better. but I also had a better support system. or not better no but just more readily available. if I needed to…