# avoidant (blogs) — RSS Amplifier Recent posts from the 2 feeds in the RSS Amplifier directory that cover avoidant. Page: Feed: --- ## [Why We Envy Friends More Than Billionaires](https://aimeru.com/blog/envy.html) _2026-08-11 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Why moderate superiority stings and vast superiority delights. On the rank instrument, the comparison class, the deservingness valve — and what admiration actually is. ## [Why Your Friend's Success Stings](https://aimeru.com/blog/goodnews.html) _2026-08-11 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Support during catastrophe is easy. Success is the harder test. On the two logics inside every adult friendship, and the one structural variable that converts a friend's excellence from threat into asset. ## [Presence Is a Perishable Resource](https://aimeru.com/blog/person-in-the-room.html) _2026-08-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Co-presence is perishable; the text can usually wait. On presence as an option, why interruption costs more than its duration, and the value of unallocated attention. ## [When Your Partner Is Always on Their Phone](https://aimeru.com/blog/microexit.html) _2026-08-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ The phone did not invent avoidance. It removed friction from it. On how habitual escape prevents delayed rewards from ever arriving — and makes an unrewarding relationship feel inevitable. ## [When You Stop Really Seeing Your Partner](https://aimeru.com/blog/cached-partner.html) _2026-08-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ We relate to a model of the person, not the person. On sampling, model freshness, and why the opposite of intimacy is sometimes excessive certainty. ## [Why Some Conversations Are Boring](https://aimeru.com/blog/boring-conversations.html) _2026-08-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Some conversations consume attention. Others generate it. On conversational topology, shared objects, and whether your listener becomes an audience or a collaborator. ## [Relationship Compatibility Beyond Personality Types](https://aimeru.com/blog/two-nervous-systems.html) _2026-08-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ A dimensional alternative to personality types. Compatibility is whether the output of one person's regulation is a tolerable input for the other's nervous system. ## [How Narcissism Actually Works](https://aimeru.com/blog/closedloop.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ A narcissist isn't someone with a bigger story. They're someone for whom defending the story has become more urgent than updating it. On the structure underneath the symptoms. ## [The Avoidant–Narcissist Relationship](https://aimeru.com/blog/mirrorbreaks.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Avoidants and narcissists pair because their defenses interlock. The arrangement is stable — until the avoidant grows. On what happens when the mirror starts perceiving on its own. ## [Why Anxious People Bond With Narcissists](https://aimeru.com/blog/thehook.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ The anxious nervous system carries one belief — if I love harder, they'll love back. The narcissistic structure is the partner precisely engineered to keep that belief set forever. On the trauma bond as a mechanism, not a metaphor. ## [Install Manifest V3 Extension (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/H1IhVB7gOPVd) _2026-05-22 · **Sponsored**_ Get this Manifest V3 extension from the official TronBrowser Store listing. ## [When Two Narcissists Date](https://aimeru.com/blog/theduel.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Two structures, both demanding the mirror, neither willing to be one. Why these pairings burn so brightly and end so badly. On what happens when two stories meet that cannot share a room. ## [The Avoidant–Avoidant Relationship](https://aimeru.com/blog/theagreement.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Two people who agreed, mostly without saying so, not to ask too much. On the avoidant–avoidant pairing — what it looks like, why it lasts, and the specific kind of loneliness it produces. ## [When Both Partners Are Anxiously Attached](https://aimeru.com/blog/theecho.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Two anxious systems facing each other amplify the signal instead of attenuating it. Every micro-shift reads as evidence. On what happens when both partners are scanning the same sky for storms — and the rare repair available when both speak the language. ## [How a Secure Partner Heals Anxious Attachment](https://aimeru.com/blog/thesteadyone.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ How earned security actually develops. The secure partner does not perform reassurance — they just stay the same shape, week after week, until the anxious nervous system starts to believe it. ## [Loving an Avoidant Partner](https://aimeru.com/blog/theslowyes.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ The harder repair. A secure partner can offer the conditions for an avoidant to soften, but cannot do the work for them. On what it takes to be allowed close to a structure built to keep everyone out, and what the avoidant has to learn to give. ## [Serial Monogamy vs. the Chosen Bond](https://aimeru.com/blog/whatitcouldbe.html) _2026-05-23 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Serial monogamy is a sequence of cohabitation and sex treaties, each at the same floor. On the chosen bond — what the body has been reaching for all along, why the surrounding industry is structurally aligned against it, and how therapy treats the symptoms of the treaty while calling the management growth. ## [Why You Don't Know Why You Do Things](https://aimeru.com/blog/theory.html) _2026-05-22 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ The unconscious decides, the conscious explains. On why introspection lies, where truth actually lives, and the second question that still works when truth is out of reach. ## [When Friends Give Advice That Hurts You](https://aimeru.com/blog/solidarity.html) _2026-05-20 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Female intrasexual competition rarely arrives looking like competition. It arrives looking like kindness. A structural account of how the cultural script targets the women least able to filter it. ## [Anxious and Avoidant Attachment, Explained](https://aimeru.com/blog/whatwelearn.html) _2026-04-22 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Your partner isn't your problem. They're your teacher. The nervous-system science behind anxious and avoidant attachment, why standard couples therapy makes it worse, and what actually works. ## [Mitochondria, Mate Choice, and the Maternal Line](https://aimeru.com/blog/engine.html) _2026-04-12 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ She carries the engine. He shops for shields and fuel. The story we tell about reproduction has been running on borrowed power for ten thousand years. ## [100,000 Bonus Points Await You (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/5ACEoahyDGWX) _2026-04-11 · **Sponsored**_ Earn 100,000 bonus points after spending $5,000 in the first 3 months. ## [What DNA Actually Remembers](https://aimeru.com/blog/logfile.html) _2026-04-12 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ What survives in DNA is not what was chosen. It is what was not eliminated. Two channels, two timescales, one filter that has been running for hundreds of millions of years. ## [The Evolutionary Logic of Male and Female Behavior](https://aimeru.com/blog/whatworked.html) _2026-04-12 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Nobody chose them. They survived because the alternatives didn't. The behavioral patterns of men and women as energy-allocation strategies, optimized for two different survival games. ## [Genes, Culture, and Why Children Get His Name](https://aimeru.com/blog/three_channels.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Three channels carry information through time. She owns one. He built another. The naming system tracks neither honestly. ## [Why Gen Z Seems Checked Out](https://aimeru.com/blog/shibboleth67.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Why is every article low key making fun of a generation. ## [Nobody Is Paying Attention to Anyone Anymore](https://aimeru.com/blog/the_attention_recession.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ Why the real crisis isn't sexlessness — it's that nobody is paying attention to anyone anymore. ## [Endless Options, Still Alone](https://aimeru.com/blog/abundance.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ One woman, one strategy, four checkpoints. The tape run forward to where it lands — and the fork still open at every age. ## [Why Men Stopped Approaching Women](https://aimeru.com/blog/the_courtyard.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ A thousand years of men performing for each other instead of walking up the stairs. ## [Approach Anxiety, the Blackpill, and the Way Out](https://aimeru.com/blog/go_talk_to_her.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ The self-inflicted catastrophe of choosing theory over action. ## [Narcissistic Family Roles, at Home and at Work](https://aimeru.com/blog/narcissisticsystems.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ How the roles we learned at home follow us to work — and what it takes to see the system clearly. ## [What Presence Actually Is](https://aimeru.com/blog/the_open_line.html) _2026-04-10 · Dirk Harms-Merbitz · The Aimeru Magazine_ What technology cannot replicate, and what we lost the vocabulary to name. ## [Trade Bitcoin & Ethereum (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/6UDP1zabZmRR) _2026-04-09 · **Sponsored**_ Buy, sell and margin trade BTC & ETH with fiat currencies ## [Podcast Review of “Avoidant”](https://jebkinnison.com/2024/10/03/podcast-review-of-avoidant/) _2024-10-03 · Jeb Kinnison · Jeb Kinnison_ I ve been trying out AI assistance in marketing. This is an excellent example of what you can do, and it s amazingly good at bringing out the value of the book to readers. The post Podcast Review of Avoidant appeared first on Jeb Kinnison .