diaries of a slug

i come to you in this summer heat feeling like a little slug on a hotplate, my skirt gently sizzling, my pneumostrome clogged with olive oil, god watching over me, keen to saute me into a meal with eggs or something. the analogy is running out of steam. but generally, i struggle with heat like no one else. so, in my delirium, allow this little gastropod to recount how he’s been getting slimy with…