Forzathon Memorial Day Malaise

Welcome to Memorial Day weekend in the good ol' U.S. of Assholes. — that special time of year when we honor our fallen by battling each other for the last pack of discounted hot dogs at the grocery store (after all, two for $16 is just about the best deal on refrigerated meat you can find these days). White-knuckling carts to the registers in hopes of a break in traffic, complaining about the…