LETTUCE REJOICE! (THE PATRIOTIC CYCLOSPORA CAYETANENSIS)

by Zumwalt AI-generated graphic by NightCafé for The New Verse News . Trump’s CDC Stopped Monitoring Explosive Diarrhea Parasite Before Outbreak — Newsweek , July 10, 2026 It's a big win, a big win, so cue the parade— Inflation is beaten! Our Fed target's made! So how did we do it? Well, funny you ask— We fired all the folks doing food-safety tasks. No agency checking for bugs in your greens. No…