Have We Forgotten How to Gather?

I know this is going to make me sound old, but stay with me.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what happens when a room doesn’t have a television in it.

The answer, unfortunately, is often: nothing.

It sits empty. And that’s a little sad.

Not because every room in a house needs to be occupied at all times, but because it says something about how we live today. We have become so conditioned to gathering around screens that a room designed simply for conversation, games, reading, or connection can feel almost purposeless. (Have you see Toy Story 5 yet? Spoiler alert: it’s about how everyone is glued to screens and kids have forgotten how to play. It hits a bit too close to home.)

To be perfectly honest, we aren’t exactly standing on a soapbox here.

Years ago, we used to cringe when clients asked for televisions in their formal living rooms or bedrooms. We would gently try to talk them out of it, convinced that these rooms should be reserved for reading, conversation, or some idealized version of gathering.

Fast forward a few years, and we’ve both retroactively installed televisions in our own personal formal living rooms.

Because, well...it’s easy.

Sometimes after a long day, you just want to watch a show.

So we don’t judge you. Please don’t judge us.

But the older we get, the more we appreciate having at least one space in a home that encourages something different. And deep within we know we need a screen-free room. A place where conversation can happen naturally. A place where someone might pour a drink, pull up a chair, and stay awhile.

Those moments don’t happen because a designer picked the perfect fabric. They happen because the room gives people a reason to be there.

When we were designing a recent project in Tenafly, New Jersey, we found ourselves staring at a beautiful formal living room and asking a question we ask often:

What would make someone choose to come in here?

The family room - with the television - was directly adjacent. If given the choice between a room with a screen and a room without one, most of us know which room wins.

Not because we’re lazy or because we’re doing anything wrong but because screens are easy. They don’t require participation or conversation. They don’t require us to come up with something to do.

But the older I get, the more I think some of our happiest moments happen when we’re forced to do exactly that.

A game of cards.

A mahjong session.

A glass of wine with a friend.

A conversation that starts with, “How was your day?” and somehow ends two hours later.

Those moments rarely happen because someone planned them. They happen because the environment makes them possible.

Which is why, when we looked at this room, we weren’t focused on decorating it. We were focused on creating a reason to gather. For more about the decisions that went into this room design and getting people to gather here, read our blog here.

Watch the full tour of the room here.

For furnishings inspired by this room, click here.

If you liked this article, you might also like:

Why That Beautiful Room Never Gets Used

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (in the Powder Room)

Why Blue Is The Hardest Color to Get Right

If someone forwarded this to you, welcome to TG: The Method.

We don’t just believe beautiful homes matter. We believe the way they’re designed changes how people live in them. That’s what TG: The Method is all about.