The Universe Gives Us What We Put Into It

Last week, Alvin and I were sitting on the couch talking about our summer plans when one of us said something that immediately made the other stop and think.

“Can you believe all the things that have happened over the past few years?”

We weren’t talking about any one thing in particular. It was more of a realization that seemed to hit us both at the same time. In a relatively short period, we have experienced opportunities, friendships, adventures, and moments that neither of us could have imagined when we first met. Some of them have been significant milestones. Others have been small moments that somehow meant just as much. Looking back, it is hard not to feel incredibly grateful.

As I thought about that conversation later, I found myself wondering why some people seem to attract so much goodness into their lives. Is it luck? Timing? Circumstance? Perhaps it is a little of all three. But I have always believed there is something else at work as well.

I believe the universe gives us what we put into it.

Now before you roll your eyes and assume I have suddenly become a self-help guru, hear me out.

I do not mean that every good deed results in an immediate reward because anyone who has spent more than five minutes on this planet knows that is not how life works. Good people face hardships. Generous people experience disappointment. Kind people endure heartbreak. Life does not operate on some magical point system where you help a stranger on Tuesday and receive a winning lottery ticket on Wednesday.

What I do believe is that the energy we put into the world has a way of creating opportunities, relationships, and experiences that eventually find their way back to us.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons I have spent most of my career in philanthropy.

At its core, philanthropy is really an act of optimism. Every donor who makes a gift is choosing to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. They are investing in people they may never meet, patients they may never know, students they may never see graduate, and causes that may not fully realize their impact for years. They are putting hope into the universe and trusting that it will grow into something meaningful.

The best philanthropists I know do not give because they expect something in return. They give because helping others brings them joy. They understand that a life well lived is measured not only by what we accumulate, but by what we contribute.

Over the years, I have had the privilege of meeting some remarkably successful people. They have built companies, led organizations, created wealth, and achieved goals most people only dream about. Yet when I think about the happiest among them, I rarely remember their net worth, their titles, or the size of their homes. What I remember is their generosity. I remember the way they made people feel. I remember the causes they championed, the lives they changed, and the joy they found in helping others.

That lesson has stayed with me.

As many of you know, next week I will be giving my first public webinar since the release of Joni Mitchell Called Me Ugly: Persuasion and the Power of an Ask. The Association for Healthcare Philanthropy invited me to present, and I could not be more excited.

If I am being completely honest, there is still a part of me that finds it a little surreal. For years, I have spoken at conferences and events, but this feels different. This webinar is tied directly to the book, a project that started as an idea, became a manuscript, and somehow found its way into the hands of readers across the world. The fact that people are reading it, discussing it, and now inviting me to speak about it is something I do not take for granted.

The funny thing is that while my name appears on the cover, none of it happened because of me alone.

In fact, the older I get, the more convinced I become that every successful person has a team behind them. Sometimes it is a formal team. Sometimes it is family and friends. Most often, it is a combination of both. Whatever form it takes, nobody builds anything meaningful entirely by themselves.

I am fortunate to have an incredible creative team in my corner.

Alvin has been my biggest cheerleader from the very beginning. He is the first person to hear new ideas, the first person to offer feedback, and the first person to remind me when I am overthinking something. He celebrates every success as if it were his own and somehow manages to believe in me even on days when I am not entirely sure I believe in myself.

Marie, my publicist, has become one of the most important people in my professional life. She sees opportunities where others see obstacles. She is constantly making introductions, opening doors, creating connections, and finding ways to help me reach audiences I never would have found on my own. Many of the exciting opportunities that have appeared over the past year can be traced back to Marie’s persistence, creativity, and belief that good things happen when good people are connected.

Freddie serves as my videographer and creative content specialist, which sounds impressive because it is. He has an incredible eye for storytelling and understands how to take an idea and bring it to life in a way that resonates with people. Whether it is a video, a photo shoot, or a creative concept, Freddie consistently finds ways to make everything feel more authentic, more engaging, and frankly, a lot better than I imagined it could be.

Jamie is my social media specialist and one of those people who understands something that continues to mystify me. She knows how to take a message and help it reach the people who need to hear it. She helps create consistency, expand reach, and make sure the stories we are telling actually find an audience. In a world where attention spans seem to get shorter every day, that is no small accomplishment.

And then there is Piglet.

Piglet’s professional credentials remain somewhat limited. She has yet to master social media strategy, video production, public relations, or fundraising. What she does bring to the team is an unwavering commitment to morale. She reminds me to take breaks, spend time outside, appreciate the simple things, and never underestimate the power of a good nap.

Honestly, there are days when I think she may be the smartest member of the group.

The truth is that none of us accomplish much completely alone.

Behind every successful fundraiser, there is a team.

Behind every author, there are readers, editors, encouragers, and supporters.

Behind every leader, there are mentors and friends.

Behind every dream, there are people quietly helping make it possible.

As I prepare for next week’s webinar, I find myself feeling less nervous and more grateful. Grateful for the opportunities that have come my way. Grateful for a career that allows me to witness generosity every day. Grateful for the people who have encouraged me to keep writing, keep speaking, and keep sharing ideas. Grateful for a husband who never stops cheering me on, a publicist who refuses to let opportunities pass by, a creative content specialist who brings stories to life, a social media expert who helps those stories travel farther, and one spoiled dog who somehow manages to make every day better.

Maybe that is why I still believe the universe gives us what we put into it.

Not because life is always fair, and certainly not because every act of kindness is immediately rewarded. Rather, because kindness has a way of creating more kindness. Generosity inspires generosity. Encouragement inspires confidence. Love creates more love.

When enough of those things begin to compound over time, they create a life that feels extraordinarily rich, regardless of what your bank account says.

Looking around at the people in my life today, I know just how fortunate I am. Alvin and I often talk about how lucky we have been, but perhaps luck is only part of the story. Perhaps some of what we are experiencing today is the result of years spent trying to help others, lift people up, celebrate their successes, and contribute something positive to the world around us.

I do not know if that is how the universe works.

I just know that after all these years in philanthropy, after witnessing extraordinary generosity from donors, volunteers, colleagues, friends, and family members, I have come to believe that goodness has a way of multiplying.

And for that, I am profoundly grateful.