Pull Up A Chair, Ask Me Anything

MJM asked me something on Sunday that I promised to answer. She was surprised to hear me describe myself as unable to connect, because from where she sits, she sees me surrounded by it: family, friends, mentors, all of you. And she named the exact thing, the gap between having connections and feeling connected. I told her it deserved more than a quick reply, so here we are.

Here is the honest version. For most of my life, it felt like there was a wall of Plexiglass between me and the people I most wanted to be close to. I could see them clearly. I could put my hand up to the glass. But I couldn’t feel them, and they couldn’t quite reach me. I wrote about this years ago in my book, Friendship for Grown-Ups, and I named the thing underneath it there too. There is a difference between being transparent and being vulnerable.

Let me say more about that, because the difference is the whole key for me. I can open up and write very authentically in…