How Do I Celebrate in the Dark?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Lana White.

Celebrate.

Celebrate.

Celebrate.

Let that shit sink in.

How do I celebrate in the dark?

When I first met her, I thought my heart would explode with joy, but now that she’s gone . . . it’s threatening to explode for other reasons. The loudest being how much it hurts knowing I’ll never be able to kiss her lips again.

They tell me it’s not my fault she’s gone.

They tell me she made the choice to end it all.

They tell me the shame of judgment destroyed her.

But they can’t tell me how to stop crying so hard it physically hurts. And they can’t tell me how the world is way too silent without her laughter. Why can’t they tell me how to breathe through this immense weight of misery that lives on my chest now?

You think you have scars? Lost love leaves behind the worst ones. And I’ll die before I rip them open again.