I’m a month late. Again. I blame the moving process, and a general sense of overwhelm that I’ll probably talk about in therapy (if I can figure out what to actually say for 45 minutes).
But we’re here now, and I have stories.
So I posted a TikTok about how hard it is to find housing in NYC, the prices, the bidding wars, the application fees, the absolute insanity of it all.
And a right-wing media person from Spain used it to complain about our amazing mayor, Mamdani, on X.
My content about struggling with housing, something that reflects a systemic crisis affecting millions of New Yorkers, was taken, decontextualized, and weaponized as a political attack against someone actually trying to make change.
This made me actually pause and research. Is Mamdani doing anything about the housing crisis? Or am I just... hopeful because I have to be?
Here’s the reality: NYC’s housing crisis is structural. It didn’t start with one mayor and won’t end with one. It’s decades of underproduction, zoning restrictions, real estate speculation, and policy failures from multiple administrations.
Plot twist: despite the prices, the bidding wars, and the existential dread, we found a new place.
Change of topic!!!
I’m really struggling to connect with my therapist. And I think I finally figured out why: I don’t know what to talk about. I had tried many therapists before and was excited with this one. She is from Spain and lives in NYC!
We sit on Zoom for 45 minutes, and I’m supposed to... what? Talk about my childhood? Complain about the same things every week? I end up just... talking nonsense, trying my best to be honest, hoping something sticks.
Does therapy actually work for you? Because I’m starting to think maybe I’m just not a therapy person. Or maybe I need a different approach. Or maybe I need to actually come with an agenda instead of just... existing in the room.
The expectation that we should all benefit from talk therapy feels very American to me. Very individualistic. Like, “fix yourself through conversation.” But what if you’re not a talker? What if you process differently?
I’m not anti-therapy. I just... don’t know if it’s for me. And I’m tired of pretending it’s working when it’s not.
We’ve been in our apartment for 6 years. Six years of life. Of hosting. Of building a home. Six years of roommates. And now it’s ending.
It’s fun. It’s also very heartbreaking.
Our first place where we figured out how to live together. Late nights. Early mornings. The kitchen where I make sourdough and kombucha every week. The living room where we spent so much time watching movies and playing games with friends.
Moving isn’t just logistical. It’s sad and annoying, tiring and stressful. But overall, EXCITING! To all my friends who have left: this is an open invitation to come stay with us in Bed-Stuy.
Any moving service recommendations?
We found a place in Bed-Stuy, the first neighborhood I ever lived in when I moved to NYC in 2020, when I was making under $20k a year and terrified and excited in equal measure.
Now we’re moving back there with my wonderful partner, in a place that’s a bit out of the way, but a bit of an upgrade in many ways: two balconies, dishwasher, washer and dryer. (Wait, is this NYC?!). As bikers, the location works fine for us. And as hosts, this will be amazing. Finally we’ll feel good about hosting our families in NYC.
Coming back to where you started, but with more stability, more resources, more knowledge of who you are.
We actually thought about van life. Who the hell hasn’t at this point?
We tried to imagine it. The freedom, the simplicity, the ability to just... leave whenever we wanted and go wherever. And honestly, moving around the U.S. doesn’t sound too bad, since I actually haven’t been to that many places.
But we’re apartment people. We like having space. We like knowing we’re staying somewhere. We like parks, community gardens, people and libraries and being of a place, not just passing through it.
So instead, we’re committing to our new apartment in Brooklyn. But we’re also committing to spending more time in Europe this coming year (honestly, I promised myself I wouldn’t spend the next full winter here), so if you have a place and want to exchange houses, let us know.
We’ll try HomeExchange or Kindred, which you should look into too! The idea is: you stay in people’s homes when you travel. They stay in yours. It’s sustainable, it builds community, and it means we can actually afford to spend extended time in Europe (not just the whirlwind visits I’ve been doing).
Being a family of six without necessarily a lot of money to travel, my parents have done it for years and we’ve stayed in INSANE places around the world for free!
My first Spanish friend in NYC left the city for real last week, and I’m truly so sad and shaken by it.
January 2020 I met this random, extremely intelligent fellow Andalusian in Brooklyn. I never thought we would become this close. Even though we didn’t see each other every day, he was always that bit of home I actually felt close to.
But now he’s gone (to Oslo). I’m still here.
And I’m starting to get impressed reactions when I tell people how long I’ve lived in NYC. And I don’t think I like it.
I’ve felt a bit stuck for a couple of months, maybe longer. It’s only now starting to feel strange, the moment that little piece of home that’s always belonged here is actually gone.
Which isn’t necessarily bad. Feeling shaken and seeking change isn’t bad. Seeing people going back to Europe is actually refreshing and makes me realize: one day, it could be me.
But that’s the issue: I’m starting to get scared of the possibility of leaving NYC.
Who would have said.
This is the place I’ve lived for the longest (obviously after my beloved hometown of Sevilla). Building a life here has been truly the biggest challenge I’ve accomplished. Meeting my partner, moving truly alone, getting my first actually well-paid job, now finally moving with my partner... NYC has seen a lot of me.
And my fear grows: what if when I’m gone I realize going to Europe wasn’t what I actually wanted?
I’m staying in NYC to settle into the new apartment, host my dad (!!) and hopefully save some money for our flights to Spain for the coming wedding.
When do you travel home? And does it feel like an obligation or a choice?
I watched an episode of Subway Takes, the show where Kareem Rahma films guests sharing hot takes from the NYC subway, and one guest made a point that’s been stuck with me: “Expat is a racist as hell term.”
And I couldn’t agree more.
Here’s the thing: when white Western people live abroad, they’re “expats.” Living their best life. Romanticizing local culture. Making content about their adventure.
But when people from the Global South live in Western countries? They’re “immigrants.” Or “migrants.” Or sometimes, less charitably, “illegals.” There’s a hierarchy built into the language itself.
The term “expat” carries connotations of privilege, temporariness, and choice. You’re an expat because you chose to live abroad, because you can afford to, because you’re on an adventure. Meanwhile, someone from Guatemala living in NYC isn’t having an “adventure ” they’re labeled based on their otherness, their status, their assumed lack of permanent belonging.
And yes, I’m a Spaniard living in NYC, which means I benefit from that same linguistic privilege. I could call myself an “expat” and most people would nod along.
As I watch people romanticize life in my hometown (Sevilla), making videos, trying to become content creators “living the expat life,” I’ve seen firsthand how the reality gets erased.
They post aesthetically pleasing photos of tapas and flamenco and “the European lifestyle” without mentioning the housing crisis, the low wages, the difficulty of building a career there. They sell the fantasy of escaping capitalism while literally profiting off the content they create about escaping capitalism.
It’s extraction, honestly. It’s taking a place, a culture, a way of life, and turning it into content for Western consumption. It’s the same colonial logic, just with better WiFi and an Instagram aesthetic.
Mine gives neighbors free herbs and produce every Sunday.
Last week, only 3 of us showed up. THREE.
What are you waiting for?!
Even if you don’t garden. Even if you kill every plant you’ve ever touched. Go for the community. Go for the free basil. Go to remember that there are people in your neighborhood who care about growing food together.
This is what we’ve lost in cities. And then we complain about feeling isolated.
Check your local community garden. It might change your life. It will definitely get you free herbs. I still haven’t fully joined one as a member but will do as soon as we move to our new place.
I went to a watercolor class at the library last week and had a blast.
I’m also absolutely terrible at watercolor. But I met some incredible people, and for two hours, I wasn’t thinking about housing prices or therapy or whether I should move back to Spain.
Check your local library for free classes.
Bait (TV show, starring Riz Ahmed)
Insanely good. I also went back to London once again and this show is based there, so it hit even harder. It touches on belonging, family pressure, and the stress of having to be good at everything and fit a mold. If you’ve ever felt that pressure, to be exceptional, to prove yourself, to never rest, this show will destroy you in the best way.
I’m Glad My Mum Died by Jennette McCurdy
Heartbreaking. As someone who had a bit of an eating disorder (don’t we all?), it really resonated. I was expecting it to go deeper, but it’s still interesting and heartbreaking to hear after growing up watching iCarly. Watching someone you grew up with process their trauma publicly is... sad.
Last Season of Beef
Actually addicting. So good. If you haven’t watched it, start now.
Rummikub
How did I not know about this game earlier in life!!!! And yes, we meet up to drink and play often now.
Crocheting & Sewing
I found a Woobles kit on the street (yes, really) and made a very cute labrador amigurumi. There’s something deeply satisfying about making things with your hands, especially when you’re stressed about housing and therapy and industry politics. I also made a shirt.
Saturday June 13: Brooklyn Pride!! (my favorite Pride event, sadly I will miss it this year)
Wednesday June 17: Community Composting with Greenspace on 4th and Big Reuse
First Tuesday of every month: Monthly Reuse Center Volunteer Day
Check Rooftop Films for outdoor movies throughout the summer
Check The Skint every week for incredible weekly events in NYC
Time still feels weird. We’re moving. I’m questioning therapy. I’m not going home in summer. I’m watching TV and crocheting to avoid worrying. I’m grateful for community gardens and free library classes and the fact that we found a place in Bed-Stuy, of all places.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
See you next month (from Bed-Stuy),
Lusi
P.S. Follow me on TikTok or Instagram for moving chaos, crocheting fails, and my general confusion about where I belong.
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.