I’m being followed! I’m being followed by….
Whoops, getting way ahead of myself. Backtracking: AI (artificial intelligence) and web tracking, I’m coming for you. Well, that’s not exactly true because you have already come for me…. and didn’t even ask.
AI and web tracking guys, have you been observing me, in my house, this whole time? Perchance listening to very personal conversations on the phone and those with visiting friends? Yes, you, Alexa! Listening to us and then busting into our conversation with commentary. We have no idea what triggered your entrance into our personal business. That’s a tad scary, you know. (The Twilight Zone theme cues up in the background.) Ms Alexa, you’ve also been privy to my various expletive-laden accidental encounters with furniture in my house. (It really, really hurts. C’mon….)
Mr. Web Tracking, ahem, now about you. I was googling new toilets for a friend, and suddenly found toilets, of all sorts, popping up in my Facebook feed. Toilets! Enough already. You’ve posted an ad in my digital New York Times, calling attention to the new brand of granola I just ordered, 24 hours ago, from Amazon! (True, it is awfully tasty. I just don’t like being shadowed all the time.)
By the way, Mr. Web Tracking, did you enjoy that quirky new website I discovered yesterday: The Official Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register? What a hoot! And those pics….
I have been so incredibly judgmental of you guys, Ms AI and Mr Web tracking. Conversely, I cannot forget ALL the beloved beluga whales and orca videos that now populate my Facebook feed, thanks to y’all. I love ‘em! Pleading that no great white sharks show up. Ever. I’d have a heart attack.
What to do with you, AI and Web tracking? I feel your tangible presence following me around uninvited, all the time, taking note of my private life. Don’t care for that at all.
Deep, deep breath. I’m going to do nothing. All the options I’ve explored for taming your invasiveness call for more technology skills than I have, or more money than I wish to spend. All I ask is that you keep Great Whites out of my digital feeds. For the moment, I’ll live with the rest.
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