Man Formerly Known as “Legion” Cancelled Following Pronoun Change from They/Them to He/Him

Welcome to The Wycliffe Papers!

I’m still pushing on with my book, Field Notes from a Sitcom Writer. More on that below, along with details of my two-day workshop on writing sitcoms. And a very silly joke from God, the Bible and Everything (in 60 minutes).

But first, the headlines:

A man formerly known as “Legion” has faced vicious criticism after abandoning the pronouns ‘they/them’ and asking to be referred to as ‘he/him’.

“Everyone was perfectly happy when I was living naked among the tombs, smashing chains, screaming through the night and cutting myself with stones,” the man told The Wycliffe Papers. “But the moment I meet Jesus, lose all those demons, stop talking in the first person plural and adopt a cis-normative singular identity, I’m suddenly the problem. I was Legion. We were many. But not any more. Why is that so hard for people to accept?”

Some troubled by this extremely rapid identity realignment have accused Jesus of imposing a singular identity without a consultation or transition period. The man rejected the criticism, pointing out that “Legion” had never been his name in the first place and that he was grateful to recover his original voice.

Residents have since asked Jesus to leave the region, insisting this had nothing to do with the loss of two thousand pigs and everything to do with maintaining community cohesion. The man formerly known as Legion has been told to go home and tell everyone what the Lord has done for him—a decision critics condemned as “giving him a platform”.

Meanwhile, according to Mark, Jesus has moved on to change the identity of a girl, thought to be only 12 years old, from being ‘dead’ to ‘alive’. Authorities are set to launch a full investigation.

One from the archives:

Speculation is rising after the Creator of heaven and earth declared it “not good for man to be alone.” Fresh data confirms male loneliness has surged 100%—a record high, though demographers admit records only began yesterday. The Wycliffe Papers questions which animal might qualify as a suitable helper, with bookmakers installing the newly named “dog” as the 8/15 favourite.

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Oh, and one more joke here:

What if you could spend two whole days in a real writers’ room? Sitting around generating ideas, pitching stories, breaking them into plots and shaping a pilot from the ground up?

Sounds like a dream? It could be a reality.

Join me and a small group of fellow writers in North London on 11th-12th September for From Premise to Pilot: an intensive, practical two-day workshop designed to get you thinking, pitching and writing like a proper TV comedy writers’ room.

Places are limited, so book now to secure yours:

Booking info

Int. Office. Home. Thursday 5^th March 2026. 10.35am

This time yesterday, I was getting on the London Underground to go to a meeting. I used to live in London, moving there soon after leaving university in 1997. It was the only place for me to live as someone who wanted to be a comedy writer. That’s where all the comedy was. The whole comedy industry then decamped to Edinburgh in August for the Festival Fringe, where comedians showed their hilarious wares. (Been there. Done that. One for another time.)

You had to put on an Edinburgh Fringe show because you really couldn’t make your own stuff. Cameras were expensive. Even cheap cameras were expensive. And even if you had access to professional cameras and editing equipment, you couldn’t post anything online because there was no online. Not really. No broadband internet. Video was something you watched in your living room on a broadcast TV, video or a DVD player. Tablets only existed in the world of Star Trek.

The most advanced piece of tech back when I left university was the Blackberry. Remember those? The very first one came out in 1999. That was the Blackberry 850. (Why not just The Blackberry? Or The Blackberry 1? Tech companies are terrible at naming products.) By 2010, the Blackberry controlled 50% of that market. The luxury iPhone, released in 2007, was declared dead on arrival because it didn’t come with a physical keyboard, unlike the Blackberry. And the rest is history.

Side note: Blackberries were also known as Crackberries, since they were highly addictive. The warning signs about smartphones were all there…

Read on

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