i made sourdough bread for the first time and now i must wax poetic about it

making sourdough bread is tedious.

first of all, making the starter is a whole process in and of itself. i got my starter from a friend, 2 months ago. i fed it and kept it alive all this time, somehow.

first piece of advice: get yourself a kitchen scale. i got mine a a thrift shop, lucky me.

remembering to feed this monster is a task in memory and discipline, much of what i have learned from farming. it’s easy to forget when you get caught up in all the daily stuff. i’m reminded of us. we must feed ourselves to remain steady and alive. it’s easy to forget when you get caught up in all the daily stuff.

feed and watch her bubble and you’re good! maybe something similar happens in our guts when we eat, when we digest.

some hours after feeding, the starter reaches it’s ‘peak’: she grows and grows and eventually she will begin to simmer back down, but you want to catch her before she does. my starter easily tripled in volume. i figured, after 8 hours and growing that big, it was time to begin the dough making process.

i added my flour, salt, and water and stirred. i pull and tug and allow her to rest overnight for another 9 hours or so. the bulk ferment. letting the dough sit and be with itself and rest and begin the sweet souring process. again, reminding me of how we should rest in the evening, especially during winter time. a time to reflect, be with ourselves, and rest.

i take a look at my recipe in the morning and realize after some more pulling and tugging, i have to let her rest again, and again! i knew this was a long process but i thought i would just have to do some kneading and throw her in the oven. she needed more rest!? in this economy!

i joke, but seriously! again my mind wonders about how i should learn some lessons from my sourdough. i need more rest, stillness, and time than i think, especially in the middle of late stage capitalism’s collapse (fyi- one of my goals this year is to say ‘no’ more often- i’ve already caught myself over-committing maybe 3 or 4 times … after being real with myself i made sure to decline these asks and opportunities because they don’t work for my personal timeline/cadence).

so many of us are in burn-out mode, continuing to run on fumes when our bodies are begging us to quit, when our minds want to shut down. we are pushed to be more efficient, quicker, faster, more output, more productivity. it isn’t sustainable, and the most beautiful and delicious moments in life mustn‘t be rushed.

finally into the oven she goes. she needs steam so i make steam, she needs perfect temps so i give her perfect temps. she knows what she needs and i want to learn what i need and ask for it unapologetically.

she came out lovely, perfect, crusty and soft.

i like to feel some sense of control in my life, but i haven’t felt that much in the last 2 years of my life.

so i made this sourdough loaf, one of my biggest teachers so far.

<3mia

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