One of my yoga instructors has been ending class with this reminder: “When we feel good, we do good. We need more good in the world.” When my glutes are sore I do feel good in my body; mostly, I am reminded that I have one.
I’ve been going to a breath work class on Sunday evenings. “Breathing like this is a way to come towards wholeness,” she says, and then goes on to talk about how wholeness in the answer to the current shit storm, but using more appropriate language. But I’m just one person, I think, breathing into my belly, sipping more air in like though a straw, and exhaling completely. Breathing in three parts. My hands tingle, and this is how I know it’s working.
Personally, I can’t complain. Yes, I am raising disabled kids and that shit is hard, and it doesn’t quit. But, generally speaking, do I feel okay? Yes. My husband is awesome and our marriage is solid; he’s my best friend and everyone should be so lucky as to say that about their partner. I have time to engage in hobbies, and those feel positive and meaningful. My youngest has been especially interested in my knitting and sewing lately, which is sweet. When I show up to a yoga class I am greeted personally with a smile. Most days I get to move my body and drink coffee and read poetry and love my kids. I’ve worked for this life for myself and I don’t take it for granted.
But when I look beyond the four walls of my house, it feels bleak. I didn’t think this is what things would feel like mid-life, especially after my 90’s childhood. There is no part of my life that feels friction-less, down to driving to my kids to and from school. It’s hard to feel anything approaching joy when I’m in a real-life game of Mario Kart (yesterday I literally dodged pieces of metal flying at my car from someone who didn’t secure their load).
and yet, we must.
I don’t know what the answer is, to any of this (and maybe that’s the first thing: a little humility and the ability to admit you don’t know everything is a great place to start).
Joy is resistance, even when it feels inadequate. Reading and knitting and stationery have been a sweet place to rest; I peppered my summer with it and have no regrets.
In July, I drug my friend Andrea to a JournalATX event. One of our tablemates asked how we’d met and when I replied “a fitness group for moms,” she said, “that’s so wholesome!”
In August, I went to the Hello, Houston! event organized by Cute Things from Japan and The Superior Labor. On Saturday, I customized a Superior Labor pouch and bought stickers and washi. On Sunday, I did a stamp carving workshop with Eric from Hello Small Things.
break for stationery haul:
My local stationery store started a club and also hosted a secret Hobonichi release party on September 1st. Such a treat to bop into the store first thing in the morning, preorder my 2026 Hobonichi, and grab a cup of coffee (I may or may not have also purchased a fluoro Kaweco with highlighter ink…).
And I capped off summer with several days in New Hampshire, attending a retreat with Squam Art Workshops.
Squam is always a treat, even if the food was extra bad this year. (I put up with it because everything else about the experience is enjoyable.) My (randomly assigned) roommate and I had a lot in common and I enjoyed hanging out with her. I knit almost constantly and finished off a sweater for my youngest (pics tk). I noted the energy of being in the company of 130ish women ages 30-70: more of this, please, I whispered to the universe.
In between my side quests, wrangling kids, and slinging snacks, I read a lot (more on that next week), went thrifting, knit, tried to sleep, and lamented The State of Things while wondering “how much worse can it get?” I tried to stay positive, and look forward to things on the horizon (and at one point that was definitely “the younger two will both be back in school by next Tuesday.”).
When I was following Cute Things from Japan’s social media for details on the Houston event I kept seeing comments in the vein of “wish you could come to XYZ place!” and yea, I get it. It can be annoying when something fun is happening and you can’t attend, for whatever reason (I’ve spent many years of my life unable to participate in things because it was logistically impossible while having a breastfed baby, not to mention the times where something was financially not in the budget). Maybe the commenters didn’t mean it that way (tone is hard to read online, as we should all know by now!), but I couldn’t help but think the wishful energy would have been better spent creating something locally— spending an afternoon swapping supplies and creating journal spreads together truly would have been just as enjoyable as the Hello, Houston! event, and cost a lot less money. (Pro tip: your public library would probably love to hear your suggestions on events geared towards adults, or they may have meeting room space available if you want to host something yourself!)
I guess my point is- don’t let location or finances stop you from building community and enjoying your hobbies with likeminded folx. My book club is heading into our third year together and it’s a super low cost activity (most months I’m able to get whatever book we’re reading from the library, and we generally meet at someone’s house with BYO snacks). To be in the company of others is so affirming, and we need that right now!
On a personal note, we are pretty settled back into our school year routines and I look forward to showing up here on a regular basis again!
Would love to hear how your summer went and if you got up to anything particularly fun.
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