How To Decode Your Body’s Signs & Get The F Back Into Flow

Hi from Montauk General Store my friends! Truly, thank god for this perfectly mapley, cream-topped matcha. I needed her today.

I’m writing to you today in a state of… let’s call it … recalibrated overwhelm. And as I was laying in bed in a state of disregulated overwhelm just moments before coming here, I was thinking about what to write, and I realized (as is always the case) that what’s on my heart in the moment is inevitably what’s best. Substack is a place of zero performance for me and I love that about it so much. And in a world of content made for the shortest of attention spans and writing plagued with ChatGPT, I hope you guys feel this from me.

So what landed me in this state? A sensitive gal meets 30 weeks pregnant (baby is size of a cabbage!!) meets a full work calendar meets non-stop hosting. Honestly, I know myself very well at this point, and this is a pretty obvious recipe to depletion. We’ve had guests in our home for pretty much the entirety of the last month and it has finally caught up to me. Now to be clear, every friend and family member we’ve had stay with us has been nothing but lovely — this is absolutely not about that. It’s a me thing: I’m deeply routine-centric, an introvert, and my home is my sanctuary. So when I fall out of the things that make me feel good, feel like my space is a chronic mess, and am “on” longer than my battery can afford to be, this is generally the result. Curious if anyone can relate here? :D

I started tearing up this morning, not because of sadness, not because I’m unhappy in the slightest, but because of sheer overwhelm. Our guests had just left, I went to lay down on the bed, and Targa jumped up and snuggled in beside me. It may have actually been the sweetness of him noticing my mood that finally broke me. In either case, I let the tears roll. Though I didn’t plan to have a menty B this morning (nor did I honestly feel like I had the time for it), I actually think crying is highly necessary and underrated. It’s like our body’s own built in emotional release system. I would much rather have my stuff come to the surface and pour of my eyes than have it live within me. I've felt, first-hand, how much damage keeping emotions in can do.

Anyway, when I get into this state of overwhelm, it’s really easy for me to go into freeze and just do nothing… which I then proceed to beat myself up for, because meanwhile the list of to dos continue to pile up. A vicious cycle that is to be avoided at all costs. When Clayton saw me in this state, he pulled me close, sat me down on the couch, and said let’s make a game plan. He knew what state I was in and that today was my Substack writing day (I honestly look forward to Wednesdays so much for this reason). He told me to leave the messy house and the dog, go get a matcha, write and take the morning to myself. And so here we are. To be honest, the quick resurgence of my mood had a lot to do with that gesture. I cannot overemphasize the role of a supportive partner — always, but especially when you feel off. One that makes you feel seen, doesn’t add to your existing overwhelm, and instead takes a load off so you can crawl your way out of the quick sand. I’m very lucky.

^{Us yesterday (also at Montauk General) — today though, no boys or dogs allowed!!! Bathing suit, hat & shorts linked.}

For me, being out of alignment no longer feels permanent or daunting in the way that it once did, which I think is best case scenario. The goal in working on your nervous system, and really just having a better understanding of your body and it’s language, is not to never feel out of alignment. It’s for the duration and intensity of those times to lessen. So today, I wanted to run through some of the ways this shows up for me (I have a feeling a lot of you will relate) — so you can start to decode your body’s own signals, and know how to quickly and simply recover. Because ultimately, we cannot control our surroundings or triggers — but how impacted we are and the bounce back are what’s on us.