I want to tell you about the thing nobody warned me about when it comes to “allowing yourself to receive money.”
When the money finally started coming, I thought that would be it. The relief. The exhale. I’d spent so long assuming that the fear would go away once the number went up, that the anxiety was just a math problem waiting on a bigger deposit.
The money came. The fear got louder.
Because now I had something to lose. So I’d look at a good month and instead of feeling proud, I’d feel this quiet dread: okay, but is it going to keep coming? Every deposit felt like a fluke. Every good month felt like it might be the last one.
I was constantly braced for the well to run dry, waiting for the thing that would turn it all off. I’d made it, and I was somehow more afraid than when I hadn’t.
I wasn’t scarce about all of it. That’s what makes this so sneaky.
Having it and saving it? I was honestly fine. I could hold money without it burning a hole in my pocket. And spending it, I was actually pretty good too, as long as it was on something that genuinely aligned with the life I was building, something that enhanced things for me or the people around me. That felt clean. That felt right.
And I watched it play out in my own behavior, which is the part that’s hard to say out loud. Because if you don’t believe money can keep coming to you, you start acting like it.
And if you’re afraid receiving isn’t safe or sustainable, some part of you starts quietly making sure you don’t have to keep receiving.
So I stopped showing up.
I stopped believing my work was worth anything.
I stopped believing what I do actually holds value for people.
And eventually, I just stopped posting. I went quiet.
Here’s what I finally understood, and it’s the whole thing:
Scarcity isn’t a math problem. It’s a nervous system state. It’s a feeling of “not enough / it won’t last / I have to guard this” that runs in your body regardless of what your account says. Which is why more money doesn’t fix it. If your body is running scarcity at $6K, it’ll run scarcity at $30K. It just gets a more expensive backdrop.
I know this in my bones because I’ve lived both sides. Years ago I white-knuckled a budget so strict it made me miserable, tracking every dollar, saying no to myself constantly. And I wasn’t even broke. I had money.
But I felt poor. Restricted. Small. Less than. The gripping itself became the poverty. I was poor in my mind while my account was fine.
Here’s what the scarcity state does to your attention. It trains you to audit what’s missing instead of feeling what’s here.
You walk through your entire life running a background scan for the gap. What you don’t have yet. What might run out. What she has that you don’t. And in the meantime you’re surrounded by things you once desperately wanted and now don’t even see.
It’s like walking through a garden and only counting the weeds. Meanwhile the whole thing is in bloom. It’s been in bloom this entire time. You just kept missing it because you were looking for what was wrong.
The principles of overflow energy — what actually generates the felt sense of abundance in your body, and why it has nothing to do with your balance.
Your energetic minimum and maximum — the invisible floor and ceiling your nervous system enforces on your income, why you keep snapping back to the same number, and how the ceiling gets raised.
The full scarcity diagnostic — the specific signs you’re in scarcity around HAVING, RECEIVING, and SPENDING (they’re three completely different blocks, and most people are only leaking from one). This is the list I use on myself and every client.
Your Day 17 expansion tap — where we don’t dig, we rise. We ground into the fullness that’s already here, expand into the honeyed, spilling-over feeling of a body that knows how to receive, and land in the garden at full harvest.
You walk away from this one full, warm, and genuinely delighted. That’s the point of this kind of tap.
This is the room where you stop counting weeds. [come into the overflow with me] 🌾
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