There are any number of terrible situations in which a clergy person might be among the first on the scene. Although most of us are not first responders in the ambulance or search and rescue sense, we do get called. In the aftermath of tragic deaths, serious injury, crime, or incidents of violence, people of faith often seek comfort or guidance from a trusted religious leader. Or we may hear of something and reach out or (depending on our relationships and congregational culture) show up at our own initiative. Other times, we experience tragedy along with our whole community, as in natural disasters. We became clergy out of love and a desire to serve. But our job in a crisis is less clear than, say, a paramedic. As I explained to a skeptic who asked about the point of hospital Clinical Pastoral Education (and chaplaincy in general):
We take care of the part of people that is not made up of parts.
Most of us receive at least some training in this. Yet the mechanism by which it works is so intangible that even seasoned clergy may struggle with feelings of helplessness or inadequacy. Nervous clergy may talk themselves out of showing up at all sometimes, for fear that they will be uselessly in the way. But from both spiritual and psychological perspectives, your pastoral or rabbinic presence may be incredibly valuable.
The office of clergy person is imbued with symbolic power. Paradoxically, if you are an appropriately humble person for the role, you probably struggle to feel like a symbolic sacred envoy. Good! Trust in it anyway. You won’t feel as powerless if you remember that your loving presence reminds people of so much love beyond yourself: divine love, the love of their faith community, the love that has carried your and humanity’s ancestors through all that has been. If you happen to be an elder, you may also remind them of the comforting love of a parental or grandparent figure.
Any prayers or rituals your tradition offers for moments such as these are also expressions of a greater love, belonging, wisdom, and comfort.
Psychological first aid is an evidence-based approach that helps people cope and reduces the risk of trauma turning into PTSD. There are eight components, and you probably do many of them naturally.
Initiating contact in a non-intrusive, helpful, and compassionate manner. That may sound obvious, but consider that other initial responders to the crisis may be (appropriately) laser-focused on the part of people that is made up of parts or on situational concerns. Family members and close friends who reach out first may themselves be in a state of intense distress. In contrast, clergy “hold space” for people, meaning we give them room and safety to experience their feelings and be witnessed, without ourselves becoming the focus or the ones in need of support. We companion others with a compassion that makes them feel less alone.
Increasing the person’s feelings of safety and physical and emotional comfort. This comes naturally to most clergy. We ask if people have what they need and we try to notice for them. We advocate for them. We offer hugs and blankets and meals from a congregational meal train and whatever else we can. We help them figure out what to do or what agency they have, because feeling passive and helpless in a crisis adds to trauma. Clergy can also pay special attention to the safety and emotional comfort of individuals who may be overlooked or excluded by other response entities, such as those who are undocumented or hold marginalized identities, or those with pre-existing conditions that make them more vulnerable.
Helping to calm and orient a person who is emotionally overwhelmed or disoriented. We do this with our calm, quiet presence, and by saying/suggesting things like:
“I’m right here with you.”
“Let’s go to another, quieter space for a while.”
“Breathe with me.”
“Let’s pray.”
“Let’s do a centering meditation.”
“Here’s what is happening.”
“Here are the steps that are being taken to help.”
“You’re safe now.”
“I’m not going to leave you all alone.”
Identifying immediate needs and concerns. Do they need to make a phone call? Eat? See a doctor? Have an intervention for suicidal ideation? You may be the first one to help them identify and figure out how to address immediate needs.
Offering practical help. You know. But did you know offers of practical help, together with these other things, reduce the risk of long term adverse mental health effects following a trauma? By the way, here’s a post about the various kinds of trauma and when trauma becomes PTSD.
Connecting the person with other social supports. Family, significant others, friends, congregation’s care team, support groups, another person who has been through something similar, etc.
Normalizing emotional responses to stress or loss and sharing information about coping. People respond emotionally to adverse events in lots of different ways. They may feel anger, sadness, guilt, numbness, fear, dread. Emotions may manifest physically as insomnia, fatigue, stomachache, changes in appetite, headaches, or other nervous system related symptoms. If their emotions aren’t what they would have expected, they may wonder if something is wrong with them. You can listen and help them understand that whatever they are feeling is okay. You can remind them that they will likely move through different feelings and different levels of intensity, that feelings may come in waves (or not), and that these are all normal responses to a terrible experience. You can encourage them to be gentle with themselves, knowing that processing their feelings is hard enough work right now without also carrying the weight of self judgment. If appropriate, you can give them permission to care for themselves, to seek healthy comforts and distractions as needed, even if others were not so lucky. After all, they would probably give this same caring advice to someone in their place, right?
Linking people with other services they need. Clergy are great hubs for pointing people toward other services. We know (or can find out) where to look for medical care, recovery meetings, therapy, housing support, and more. We also know many different people, some of whom work in these various areas or have related knowledge.
In spite of the intangible nature of our work, what we do as clergy is evidence-based and effective intervention. In addition, I’ll bet you have spent years learning to be and not just to do. It’s something both clergy and therapists understand, and most other people do not. This is exactly the right underlying approach for the practices I’ve described.
You are exactly the right person for the job.
Thanks for reading Therapy Tips for Clergy! This post is public so feel free to share it.
P.S. Do you know that in addition to working as a therapist in New Mexico, I offer clergy coaching? If you could use some support at the intersection of person + vocation, or navigating leadership challenges, send me a message. You can also check out my coaching website.
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