Art by Paul from NZ
🎧 This Week’s Happenings
It’s not just Olivia Benson, Tim-o-tay Chama-lama-ding-dong, Taylor Swift and her minions of the moment — all of New York City is in the joyous, nail-biting throes of Knicks Fever.
Buildings are ablaze in blue and orange. Jerry Seinfeld is losing his mind. Knicks chants are audible not just across the river in New Jersey but at Vatican City. Chama-lama is ripping off his shirt like he personally dragged the team through the playoffs. And OG Mo-Bro Bill from Brooklyn arrived at The Nerve in a complete state of basketball delirium — and he has a great theory on Sarah Jessica Parker thirst-trapping as the greatest celeb Knicks fan ever. [MC: Spoiler: She’s not. Our favorite sprightly 900-year-old heroine can’t risk breaking a bone in that front row.] If you missed it, catch Ep 141.
His take — and Maureen’s: New York hasn’t seen this level of solidarity since 9/11. The Knicks may be accomplishing what politicians, therapists, and years of mayoral mediocrity never could.
Meanwhile, Rob Shuter arrived with enough celebrity intel to require federal clearance.
His latest reportage completely dismantles the well-sourced insistence from Taylor Swift’s camp that she and Travis Kelce are going to have their wedding at Madison Square Garden — because, they say, they want privacy.
Talk about an epic troll. Where’s the reception — Grand Central Station?
Rob and Maureen are in complete agreement that this is a giant Taylor-sized head fake. A CIA-level psy-op. The world’s media will be camped outside MSG while the real wedding takes place somewhere else entirely.
By the way — notice how everyone’s talking about this as Taylor’s wedding? Travis Kelce is her accessory at this point.
Taylor can try to send everyone on a wild goose chase, but Teddy and Trouble have already chartered a private jet to Rhode Island [MC: Who approved this expense? What kind of budget does Teddy think we’re working with? The Nerve is very appreciative of his doggedness, as it were, but let’s bring this little dude back to earth and fly him commercial. Business class if he raises a stink]. TNT have packed enough treats for a week-long stakeout and have agreed to alternate nap times — these rival sibs are making progress in service of a greater good.
Rob also dished about Taylor’s reported reconciliation with Karlie Kloss — once the greatest, totally platonic celebrity friendship since Oprah and Gayle. Rob told Troublemakers that if Taylor and Karlie have found their way back to one another — with Karlie scoring a wedding invite — mutual dislike of Blake Lively may be the unlikely glue.
Start weaving the friendship bracelets while you watch or revisit Ep 142.
Selena Gomez, another Swift BFF [MC: How many best friends can one person have? It’s ungrammatical at best] stopped by spiritual charlatan (just our opinion!) Jay Shetty’s podcast for yet another installment of what Team Nerve can only describe as Victimhood: Billionaire Edition.
As Selena droned on next to her unhygienic-looking, often barefoot husband, The Nerve pushed back, reminding the culture that Selena couldn’t be bothered to invite the one-time close friend who gave Selena a kidney to her own wedding. Now, she’s reportedly going to be one of Taylor Swift’s bridesmaids [MC: A minion by another name is still a minion.].
Blake Lively, Selena Gomez . . . you know what they say: You are the company you keep. (And sometimes discard immediately, if said company threatens your bottom line.)
Nerve HQ hopes Travis has a great lawyer.
Also! The hilarious, no-Fs-left-to-give host of “Hot Mics with Billy Bush” joined The Nerve this week. It’s love at first sight.
Billy and Maureen covered a ton of repeat offenders, but Billy really blew our minds with his revelation that Al Roker, who plays America’s Favorite Cuddly Weatherman on the Today show, was a complete asshole to Billy and is a problem on that set. The forecast? Stormy with a strong chance of AL-tercations [MC: Marlaina’s latest punnery is explained in Ep 143].
Head over to YouTube tomorrow for the Mini, in which a reality TV refugee goes rogue, joins The Nerve and instantly earns her stripes as a Troublemaker! It’s a banger.
Keep reading for a video of extended Troublemaker feedback with Maureen, a PFNZ-illustrated Pup-date [Paul has agreed to contribute to a very special forthcoming Mini], behind-the-scenes moments, and, of course, Maureen’s recs and notes.
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