When Love Is a Lie
Dormant Last read · last published · next check
Read 4 days ago and current, but nothing has been published for 24 months.
How on earth did narcissists and sociopaths ever pander their diabolical wares before the invention of cell phones, Facebook, and other forms of social media? For those of us who’s relationship with a narcissist dates back, say, 13+ years, I think it’s safe to say that narcissists back then, sans the gadgets, were much tamer, […] The post Narcissists, Cell Phones, & My FB Revenge Confession first…
Like any high school Baby Boomer in the late 70’s, I would have associated the term ‘narcissism’ with self-absorption and conceit…albeit on a very non-threatening level. In fact, the term “narcissist” was never used at all. While roaming hallways, we may have referred to certain people as being “conceited” or “vain” but only in hushed […] The post Modern Day Narcissism & the Evolution of Evil…
When we love someone with a narcissistic personality, there’s a whole lot of head-scratching going on behind the scenes. What IS it about this person that is so…well…”off”? Forget about “good” behavior, why doesn’t he or she behave “badly” in a “normal” way like every other person or partner we’ve known? And why on earth […] The post Narcissism at Its Core Is the Inability to Attach first appeared…
A narcissist is not “fixable” because he or she is hardwired completely differently from the regular folks. Narcissists, no matter what we say, no matter how logical we make our argument, no matter what evidence that we present, will never cop to the fact that they need to be fixed. The narcissistic brain just doesn’t […] The post Can a Narcissist be Fixed or Cured? first appeared on Narcissistic…
So, why can’t you get over the narcissist? Why can’t you let it go? This person is so particularly awful, why can’t you kick him or her to the curb and never look back? More and more, this is becoming the cry of those I speak with and I do have answers but I’m not […] The post How to Get Over a Narcissist – Guaranteed! first appeared on Narcissistic Partners & the Relationship Agenda .
Like a good portion of the Baby Boomer population, I grew up with the understanding that that the word ‘narcissistic’ described someone who was ‘conceited’…a person, male or female, who not only obsessed over personal appearance but gleefully wallowed in it…a lover of mirrors, a groomer. If only it were that simple. Clearly, in just the […] The post What Exactly IS a Narcissist Anyway? first…
Breaking up with a narcissist is never easy but, with the right intention and the willingness to let a few things go, it certainly can be done. The good news is that the “rules” of breaking up with a narcissist are completely different than the rules that apply to even the most dysfunctional of “normal” […] The post Breaking Up With a Narcissist: It’s Easier Than You Think first appeared on…
Is there a connection between Aphantasia and the narcissistic personality? There could be! When we’re involved with narcissists, much of our time is spent pondering the how, why and ‘how could’ of the narcissist we’re dealing with. We want to figure it all out and then we want to fix it even if we lose a […] The post APHANTASIA & the Narcissistic Personality: Is there a connection?? first appeared…
I think that when a narcissist discards us, one of the reasons we wait for him to return (aside from the fact that he’s conditioned us to do so) is because we just can’t fathom the fact that he could actually give us up. And that’s what he does – he gives us up. We […] The post Historical Rejection: Why the Narcissist Gives Us Up first appeared on Narcissistic Partners & the Relationship Agenda .
Narcissists love to press the Great Relationship Reset Button. In pressing this imaginary button, the narcissist gets to waltz back into the relationship without any repercussions or consequences and just pick up from the point they left off. During the course of our time with the narc, we actually become used to this reset and […] The post Narcissists, Lies & the Great Relationship Reset first…
Even though a narcissist is a pathological liar, there are times where he/she offers truth amongst the lies. We can use the ploy of projection to our advantage! As victims, can actually get to that truth – if we would only listen. Yup, that’s right, if we really pay attention to the narcissist’s word garbage […] The post How to Read a Narcissist (& Turn the Projection Ploy to Your Advantage) first…
I’ve determined that “narcspeak”…that word garbage, mind-control style manner in which a narcissist uses words to manipulate and control others…is nothing more than a base model version of Neural Linguistic Programming or NLP, a marketing science developed in the 70’s that uses words and body language to influence people into thinking a very specific way. […] The post “Narcspeak” IS Neural…
The narcissist’s tactic of seduce and discard is the solid foundation of the narcissist’s pathological relationship agenda. Everything else that the narcissist does – every manipulative ploy, behavior, and characteristic – is connected to this tactic and he counts on it to work for him every time, all the time, and for as long as […] The post Narcissists & the Sport of Seduce & Discard first…
A married narcissist, out of all narcissistic predators, causes the most angst to partners simply because he or she is more polished in the art of manipulation. You would think that a married narcissist would be more subdued in his pursuit of a secondary source of supply but he is not. He is gung-ho for […] The post Does a Married Narcissist Ever Leave His Wife? first appeared on Narcissistic…
What exactly IS a narcissist? Growing up, I always thought the word “narcissist” meant conceited…someone who spent to much time in the mirror, grooming himself or herself for the outside world. I do believe that, at that time, this was the definition and personality disorders were yet to be defined. Boyfriends and girlfriends, it seems, […] The post What Exactly IS a Narcissist? Connect the dots…
When learning how to deal with a narcissist, there are really just three steps to follow that will get you to a position of power. As we know, when we’re involved with a narcissist, there is not always the opportunity to just walk away from the relationship…to break up with the narcissist. If we’re involved […] The post How to Deal With a Narcissist – 3 Easy Steps first appeared on Narcissistic…
I now provide email counseling via Q & A and I felt that my exchange below with a male victim of a female narcissistic partner would be helpful to everyone. As we know, while the female narcissist may be worse than her counterpart, the basic narcissistic behaviors of these people is amazingly similar. The exchange […] The post Narcissists & The Baffling Break-Up: Q & A (Part 1) first appeared on…
Narcissists may be pathological liars but there will be those times when, feeling boxed in, the narcissist will toss out what I call a snippet of truth. It would behoove us to believe these snippets of truth when we are privileged to hear them but we never do. For some odd reason, we choose to […] The post Narcissists & The Snippet of Truth first appeared on Narcissistic Partners & the…
Let’s talk about narcissists and addiction since we tend to give narcissists a free pass on many things…alcohol, drugs, cheating…because the poor things just can’t help it. As usual, I have my own perhaps unconventional theory about this but, believe me, it’s taken me a few years to come to it and I base it […] The post Narcissists & The Substance Abuse Excuse first appeared on Narcissistic…
As I coach people through narcissist abuse recovery, I see a behavioral and emotional trend occurring about the third week in. It typically happens after an abuse victim is feeling pretty good about having little or no contact with the narcissistic abuser. Emotionally, the victim becomes confused and can no longer differentiate between the feeling […] The post Narcissist Abuse: Feeling Sad is No…
One of the most frequent questions I get asked about narcissists is whether or not they know right from wrong. It appears, obviously, that they don’t because how else could they possibly keep doing all those hurtful things over and over and over? Some people (i.e. experts) will say that they don’t as well…that narcissists […] The post Do Narcissists Know Right From Wrong? first appeared on…
Okay, so why do we stay with a narcissistic abuser even when we know better? Even when we, as smart, educated, and “normal” people, realize that something about this person is uncomfortably off? Even as we watch the last slivers of our former self – the person we were before the narc – fly out […] The post 5 Illogical Reasons Why We Stay With a Narcissist first appeared on Narcissistic Partners &…
In The Game of Life, players who have a narcissistic personality will always play by a different set of rules than everyone else on the game board. To all normal players, the point of The Game – as reflected in the rules – is not so much about winning as it is about collecting as […] The post Narcissists & The Game of Life first appeared on Narcissistic Partners & the Relationship Agenda .
However you may feel about the narcissist in your life, it’s important to know that he/she didn’t get this way overnight. Our brain often refuses to believe this. Every day, I hear from both women and men who adamantly insist that they were blind-sided by certain narcissistic behaviors. The source of their pain is a […] The post Narcissist Abuse: Getting a Grip on Relationship Amnesia first…
At that grandiose point that we realize that our partner is a narcissist/sociopath, we can also assume that we’ve been his/her enabler for a very long time. Our codependency to the narcissist and to the relationship drama itself has almost has as much to do with our allowing it as it does with the narcissist’s […] The post Don’t Be a Narcissist’s Enabler first appeared on Narcissistic Partners &…
