A Year Without a Home: How Mérida Became Mine

I’d like to share what my first year in Mérida was like. By revealing what I went through, it could resonate or give you an inside peek to what might be in store for you too. No matter what happens, we are all connected by our transition to a new country, a new life, and new experiences. So, let’s take a look into my first year in Mérida and what took me so long to find a home.

Moving to Mexico had been a dream of mine since 2006. I knew I’d have to wait until the right time. My sons were still in school. I was growing a business. After my divorce in 2010, my emotional and mental health had to come first. So I kept the dream alive by setting an intention: I would move when the time was right. I trusted that it would come. Although my own plan included something I never expected: a year without a home.

I believe we all need something to hope for. Whether a dream comes true or not, it’s the hoping that keeps us going.

The American way is to work hard while we’re young. Then, we can retire and live the life we’ve dreamed of. But is that healthy? Is it balanced? So often, life throws a curveball that makes everything we’ve worked toward feel insignificant: a health diagnosis, a death, a sudden loss, a divorce, a (fill in the blank).

I watched this pattern play out again and again with my clients. They worked, saved, sacrificed, retired. On paper, they did everything right. Followed the rules, did the right thing. Right as they were finally ready to chase the dream, something happened. Illness. Family obligations. Death. Financial losses.

The dream stayed a dream.

It scared me because I recognized the same pattern in my own life. I’d make plans to move, and then something would happen. Eventually I realized: something is always going to happen. Big or small, that part is inevitable. The only real question is, “Will you let it stop you?”

Then came my wake-up call. I had cancer for the third time in 2017. A year later, my dad was diagnosed with cancer too. How much longer could we afford to wait? Would it take something even bigger to make us finally pull the trigger? He had always wanted to live in Costa Rica but kept putting it off.

We decided it wouldn’t. We started planning immediately and built a timeline. I still didn’t know exactly where I was moving. But starting the process was more important than the destination. My dad and I agreed to keep each other accountable and on track.

I gave myself two years to find my spot and get everything in order: selling my house, finishing my car lease, transitioning my business, gathering medical records, letting go of belongings I’d spent a lifetime collecting.

I considered a few locations in the U.S. that I loved including Scottsdale, Arizona and New Orleans, Louisiana. I thought about Costa Rica. But Mexico always had a special place in my heart and a definite “pull.”

I decided to narrow my list down to five cities in Mexico:

• San Miguel de Allende

• San Luis Potosi

• Ajijic / Lake Chapala

• San Cristobal de las Casas

• Mérida

Because I heard the most about Mérida, I decided to start there. My intention was to visit each city on the list and then choose the best one. I would live in that city for at least two years to try it out. If it didn’t work, I would go to the next city on the list for two years, and so on until I found “my spot.”

In September of 2019, my research began with a trip to Mérida. Seven days, a long list of things to find out, zero tourism, all focus on what I need to know to start a life here. Three days in, I felt something I couldn’t explain but I’ll try to do my best. It was an energy, a feeling of being connected to the history, very grounded and stable. I didn’t know it at the time but the majority of foreigners who decide to live here feel “it” too. You feel “it” or you don’t. There’s no right or wrong. It’s a feeling that’s indescribable but when you feel “it” you know.

Santa Lucía Park became one of my favorite spots in Centro. I visited frequently and one afternoon, I felt a call to stand under the two large trees in the middle of the park.

I closed my eyes and my feet felt like they were growing roots. I took a deep breath and just lived in the vision. Chills started and my inside voice said, “This is your spot. Your new home is here. Stop looking. Move as soon as you can.”

I’d like to say that I didn’t question it, but I did. When my inside voice is that loud it takes me off-guard and takes me some time to process. When I didn’t act on the advice, I started hearing the message louder and clearer. “MOVE AS SOON AS YOU CAN,” it said. Ok, understood and I’m on it!

And then everything just . . . aligned. The transition from Dallas to Mérida came together in three months.

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My two year plan shortened into months. I decided I would move on Christmas Day as a gift to myself. What a significant day to begin my new life. That meant I had about three months to execute the logistics plan I put together. For me, this was the start to the process. Organize the logistics, find the spot, execute the plan: selling, transferring, donating, and even trashing things I no longer needed. I was on my way but wasn’t prepared for what came after my move.

Just three months after my move, the Mérida I’d fallen in love with became another city entirely. My world turned upside down along with it. A new country, a new culture, a new language: none of it had prepared me for a global pandemic.

Carefully made plans unravelled rapidly. Airbnb reservations were cancelled. Mental and emotional decisions overtook logical ones. Admittedly, I would have been completely lost without Angel who I met only four days after I arrived. Guess where? Yes, in Santa Lucia Park working as a waiter at a restaurant I’d eaten at several times during my research trip. Another unexpected gift from the Universe sent as a sign I was in the right place at the right time in my “spot.”

My intention was to rent in several different neighborhoods in Centro for at least a year before signing a long-term lease. But with the new restrictions, Airbnb cancellations were inevitable. I was stuck and decided to go ahead and sign a long-term rental contract due to the situation. Necessary at the time but not part of the plan.

This became my first introduction to how rapidly things change in Mexico often without any advance warning or notice.

Let’s recap:

• Three months after my research trip, I moved to Mérida.

• Four days after I moved, I met Angel.

• Three months after I moved, Covid shut the city down.

• Four months after I moved and four houses later, I became seriously ill. In fact, the doctor here couldn’t figure out what was wrong. With all the changes in a short amount of time, I think my body was showing me how important it was to find a stable place to acclimate.

180 degree changes in all aspects of my life were catching up to me. I felt the full weight of what it means to live without a home of my own.

I never once worried about this before. I’d always been proud of how resilient and adaptable I was. Traveling solo, I’d been to many destinations. I lived in London and the Riviera Maya without a second thought. But the instability of the world, layered on top of the unknowns of my own life, was more than I’d planned for.

“Home is where the heart is” is a lovely sentiment, but my heart being in Mérida wasn’t enough to counteract the anxiety of constantly shifting living situations and COVID regulations.

Looking back, a few things made that year so hard:

• I had no soft place to land.

• My safe zone didn’t exist.

• Nothing about the year felt stable, because nothing about the world was stable.

• I didn’t have my own things around me.

• Constantly adjusting to new furniture, new lighting, new bedding, new kitchens wore me down.

• My sense of adventure and curiosity started to dull.

Fortunately, I met a wonderful man and he became the one steady, stable force in my life that first year and beyond. He was patient through every emotional high and low. He was simply present, in a way I badly needed. He helped me navigate the maze of COVID rules and regulations that would keep shifting until the city was completely open 18 months later. We married in October 2021.

Once stabilized with Angel’s help, I found a wonderful integrative medicine doctor in Dallas. She recommended that I move once again to an area that was outside of the city center and “get off the ground.” There were many things I wasn’t used to being in a city center and not just the traffic and activity. Lots to adapt to after moving that I didn’t know, didn’t anticipate, and couldn’t foresee.

After eight months and seven moves, we decided to stay in The North in Montes de Ame neighborhood. We loved the area, the walkability, the close conveniences, and it felt good. We decided we would sign a long-term lease at the end of November and see how it went.

We celebrated Christmas in our new home in 2020. One year later, I had finally found stability in more areas of my life than I knew were possible including getting married (which both Angel and said we would never do - him for the first time, me for the second time).

One thing I was adamant about was buying my own things. I brought things in suitcases with me on the airplane so I basically needed to start from scratch. But this was a great thing.

I was exhausted from uncomfortable furniture, a kitchen that wasn’t fully equipped, and not being able to fully “nest.” I’m sure you know that feeling. I bought my own furniture. I decorated the house how I wanted to. Little by little, I began to relax, and settle in. Most importantly, my health had stabilized along with my life.

That year without a home taught me more patience than I thought I had, and the kind of fortitude that only comes from accepting that everything is temporary — that change is the one true constant.

Your Mérida Insiders,
Amy Jones, The Mérida Ambassador
Angel Rodriguez, The Local Insider
Founders, Life in Mérida™

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