It Happened The Last Time We...

It happened the last time we had sex. It was October of 1932 and as usual you had wrapped your legs and arms around me.

There were no worries about the future, no thoughts about skinny old men with paunches pretending to be multilingual experts and math whizzes.

There was only a torrid love affair and dreams of a future that was going to be the envy of all. We would be the couple people pointed at and said. “I wish we were them.”

And then it happened, there was a loud bang and three people burst into the apartment.

I jumped off of you and started fighting a redneck from Arkansas, a portly hillbilly attorney and a pasty faced author.

Can’t tell you how they connected or why they chose that time to force Coitus interruptus but I know they regret it. I protected your honor as I had done so many other times and had promised to do for eternity.

And may I say that fighting naked isn’t an easy feat. Not because I was unclothed but because they left the door open and that cold Texas wind caused shrinkage.

And as everyone knows, shrinkage is the equivalent of shaving Samson’s head or depriving Popeye of Spinach.

Experience has shown me that life is like a Marx Brothers movie. You wouldn’t really expect anything to resemble the crowded cabin scene in A Night At The Opera.

But then three men burst into your apartment and all hell breaks lose and if you believe that story above you probably think the DSA and MAGA are the best thing to ever hit America.

I shouldn’t say that because I have read too many posts from people who believe both groups are filled with the greatest minds and biggest patriots the US has ever seen.

Can you hear/feel/sense the sarcasm and disgust?

Maybe yes, maybe no, either way cleanse your palate with the video below.

I am still wrestling with some of the questions I posed in Do We Need Another Jew With A Substack and How Many Places Do Writers Write In?

Still wrestling with whether I am overextending myself with the places I publish in and still asking myself what sort of content I should focus upon.

Still thinking about how the algorithm provides the collective us with different versions of reality.

When we received confirmation of the murder of the Bibas boys it very quickly made the rounds among the Jewish community worldwide. It was devastating and it generated a mix of anger and sadness.

But millions knew nothing about it just as millions knew nothing about October 7.

I have engaged with more than a few people who have no idea that Hamas was the aggressor on October 7 or that it was the fifth war they started in 17 years of governance of Gaza.

It is common for people who know nothing about Zionism to tell me what it means and or to engage in assorted of other forms shameless goysplaining.

The same people who say to believe all women qualify it when it comes to the sexual violence Hamas perpetrated against Israeli women.

The same people who say that all terrorism is wrong celebrate a man who couldn’t condemn a terror attack on a synagogue in Michigan.

They think that saying “hurt people hurt people” is fine but I’ll put $100 down they would go nuts if we made a simple adjustment to the story.

If a man attacked a Black church and we said it was ok because “he was robbed by a Black man and hurt people hurt people.”

For the sake of clarity, I think that would be a ridiculous response. It is not ok just as it is not ok to minimize an attack on a synagogue by saying “hurt people hurt people.”

That is a lack of moral clarity.

There is a group of younger people at my gym who believe the laws of physics don’t apply to them.

I head to an empty machine and a young man tells me I can’t use it because he is on it.

“I can see you using the machine over there. So while you are doing that I’ll get my sets in here.”

“You can’t, I am using this one.”

I cock my head to the side like a dog that heard a funny noise.

“Not sure how that works, I watched you do a set on that other machine.”

“That is true, but I am doing a superset and I am using this one too.”

I shake my head and say I am sorry to tell him that he can’t be in two places at once.

He angrily tells me I am causing an issue. I shrug my shoulders at him and resume my workout.

Later on he’ll run to a machine he sees me heading towards so that he can sit down and tell me he won’t let me use it.

I shake my head, tell him he is entitled and say it is a dick move but be my guest.

He doesn’t know the coffee has caught up with me and I am going to gift him with a present that will make sitting there unpleasant.

Let’s hear it for the occasional upside of digestive distress. Might not fix his sense of entitlement but it makes me laugh to see him cough.

It is childish, but so is he and I don’t sit around waiting for him to move or waste time arguing.

Four years at this gym and I think I have had a conversation like this about four times. It is always with some younger guy.

The people my age or around it are all happy to let each other work in. It is how we grew up at the gym.

You finished your set and let someone else go and then you went again.

I sometimes wonder how much of this if anything is tied to Covid and or poor upbringing on their part.

Back we go to thoughts about algorithms and understanding of words/expressions.

I’m thinking about the people who use Zionism as a pejorative and how different their understanding of its meaning is.

There is an ongoing discussion within the Jewish community about whether to let the word go or whether to try to educate people on how we understand and use it.

Some say there is no reason to push the river and that too many people have their own definition so we ought to let go.

But I am not convinced that’s the right path. I lean towards education and to not allowing others to set a narrative.

It is serious stuff and not things that we ought to just ignore.

There is a war for hearts and minds taking place online and we need to do better there. It is not something that will be won or lost overnight but it needs more and better attention than it is getting now.

So while I mull over my place and participation you get posts that are a mix of silly and serious.

I know where I expect things to go but not exactly how they’ll get there or what they’ll look like.

Time will tell.