meet your edge. meet your soft self.

when you do the hard thing that asks much more of you - your comfort zone, a confrontation with your ego, doing the work you know is good for you that you don’t want to do - the pay off is huge. huge.

when you do the easy thing, sometimes the safe thing, the distraction, the problem, you get nothing but the distraction. and it ends. it always ends. and takes away from you in the process.

here is the thing, it’s a fine balance life. but more than getting the balance right, it’s about getting the what you do right.

if you’re fed up, pissed off, exhausted, always head above water, craving magic, wanting more, the question is this - do you want something different? or are you addicted to the shit?

for some, they will like to complain and have the problems they have to just keep having something to complain about. this is ok. know this - it’s all ok.

but if you sit up late at night and desire a change; a shift in reality, a change in perspective; in the way your life is being lived, then baby, you gotta do the work.

I say this as someone who was very resistant to the work. for a long time. I was scared mostly of what I would find when I took the lid off. I thought my mental intelligence and capacity to understand everything rationally was the answer.

it was not.

I was that girl sitting up late at night wanting it all to change.

cause I want it all. I want the money, the love, the cosmic pleasure, the bottom of the ocean and the light on the surface that calls me back up.

but the work is not what you think it is. it is not working harder at the office. it is not waking with the intention to be a better person; calmer, a softer parent, nicer to strangers.

it is not trying to be better, or more accommodating. it is not trying to be like him, or be like her. it is not apathy, or, ‘this is life’. it is not living in fear disguised as rationality.

it is not walking alone. it is not keeping safe. it is not being sensible.

it is something deeper.

the work is love. the work is surrender. the work is opening from the inside out. the work is going back to come forward. the work is drowning in your own death. the work is love. the work is love. the work is love.

it is a close look in the mirror where you hold your eye-line and don’t buckle at what reveals itself. you can hold that shame, that guilt, that self-hate, that discomfort and hold it keenly. smash that false self to smithereens.

it is dancing in the garden late at night and being overwhelmed by grief of all that you have held back over the years. then letting the joy come.

it is the sexual awakening that makes you feel sticky shame in every pore of your body and not trying to be a badass through it but simply sitting with it. forgive the girl painted with shame and welcome her into your arms.

it is choosing the meditation, the study, the movement, the grief, the work, over the comfort, the couch, the TV, the distraction, the excuses. not always. not always. but certainly sometimes. more than sometimes.

how are you spending your seconds, your minutes, your hours here on planet earth? how do you want them to add up in the end, for you. because this work my love, is for you.

it is weeping with your hands and knees in the grass and feeling all that comes with that level of emotion. can you let go and be ugly, pathetic, weak, silly, childlike, vulnerable, real, alive, here.

it is coming back to life. going in, despite the dread and discomfort and cruel, tangy words of the head that is trying to protect you but holding you back. it is the heart flung open in total childish love.

it is hate, anger, grief, despair, joy, pleasure, arousal, erotica, shame, guilt, selfishness.

it is one big bear hunt. you come across the long grass, and the sticky mud; the snow storm, and the cold lake, and you can’t go over it and you can’t go under it. you have to go through it.1 right to the core. right to the seed of the fear.

it ain’t easy work but it’s natural and beautiful work, and the only thing that evokes that change you are wishing and hoping for.

so we can soak in that distraction that keeps us warm and sedated, or we can climb out, and feel the complete fucking discomfort from that cold, whipping wind, and get amongst it.

every time that ego tells you this is stupid, go further in.

every time that ego tells you this is pointless, go further in.

every time that wound tells you not to cry, go further in.

every time that trauma tells you your body is dirty, go further in.

every time that conditioning tells you to be invisible, go further in.

meet your edge. meet your soft self. meet your magical self.

do the work because you love yourself silly. do the work because under it all you know you deserve better. do the work because fear is safe but love is liberating. do the work because you are a child of the stars and the revolution is remembering that.

p.s keep scrolling for some beautiful offerings xoxo

I love you xoxo

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