how to love yourself true with The Lovers

This is the third letter in The Tarot Codes - a deep dive into Tarot cards, and their transmissions to help you come into embodied safety, & break curses around pleasure, wealth, & love xo

The Lovers come to break the curse of not loving ourselves fully and wholly. while The Lovers represent union, love, and partnership, they also represent choices, harmony in opposition, and the relationship we have with ourselves. after all, romantic love and self-love are one and the same.

when I met my husband, the love he showered me with was unlike anything I had experienced. still to this day, 10 years later, he is unrelenting with his love and devotion to me. he supports and adores me fully. but, because my relationship with myself has been somewhat fraught (due to trauma), I have never entirely let him in.

this is why the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have; it dictates all the other relationships in your life. no one, no matter what, can love you enough to fill the void of your own self-love.

while The Lovers depicts the masculine, the feminine, and in some cards, the inner child (the heart), this can also represent the polarity in yourself. we must allow both the masculine and feminine to thrive within ourselves, otherwise, we are quietening a part of ourselves that we do not deem worthy of a voice. in other words, a part of ourselves we do not deem worthy of love.

this, in most cases, is always the feminine, for both women and men. we have been conditioned to think the feminine is soft, weak, and useless in this dominating, brutal system. we all have wounds of self-hate due to this.

but actually, the feminine is strength in the face of chaos. it is magic, nurture, creation, and intuition. it is birth, death, and rebirth. the feminine is the destructive force that cuts out that which does not serve us anymore.

only when the feminine and masculine are entwined in a dance do we thrive. we cannot thrive with a dead self. we cannot thrive if we only love parts of ourself. we must love it all.

this is the curse The Lovers come to break.

how did we move from wholeness and inner peace, to this? because a long time ago, we were connected, both to ourselves and the world around us. but now we are fragmented in every possible way. science has been separated from the sacred, the masculine has dominated the feminine, and the mind and body connection has been completely severed.

we have been dominated to choose a side, instead of accepting harmony in opposition. if I believe in science, I cannot believe in the sacred. for my masculine traits to be strong, I must suppress my feminine qualities. this is not coherence; it is coercion. using threats, degradation, and intense pressure, our society has undermined our very nature: duality.

but it has been designed this way. if we feel empty and inadequate; like something is missing but we do not know what, then we are susceptible to forces that seek to sell us our peace. only by feeling like this do we fall into the trap of consumerism on a mass scale. only by being fragmented on every level do we lose our sense of self; our connection to humanity. only by feeling less than, are we easy to manipulate and control.

if we aren’t whole in here, then we will spend our lives wandering for something out here, that will never be found.

while our dogmatic religious structures tell us we are less than; born with sins, and immoral with our pleasure and lust, The Lovers come to show us that it is all natural. the ugly and the beautiful, the dark and the light, the soft and the hard, the lost and the found. only by loving it all and surrendering to the parts of ourselves we have come to feel great shame for, do we find inner peace.

only by loving it all do we not let those parts we deem ‘unhealthy’ control us. the more we force something to submit, the deeper its rage to be seen becomes. loving parts of yourself that aren’t necessarily ‘moral’ doesn't mean you go out and do terrible things. it means you accept the darkness of life, as much as the light. denying it lets it control you; loving it lets you forgive it.

The Lovers is governed by Gemini. both symbolise union, communication, choice, and duality. Gemini represents the ‘twin’ archetype, which depicts dualities like spirit and body, masculine and feminine, and the conscious and sub-consciousness.

you hear people say, ‘she has two faces like a Gemini,’ like this is a bad thing. but we all have two sides; actually we all have multiple sides. we are neither wholly good or wholly bad. but the choice lies with you about who you want to be; who you want to show up in the world as. it is always a choice, just like love is always a choice. it may not be an easy choice, but life is not easy.

this is The Lovers story-tale.

The Lovers is governed by 6; recalibration. it signifies a choice, after an extra element has been introduced (five), and moving forward with what has been learnt in the dark. a realisation that duality must be acknowledged and allowed to thrive, in both romantic love, and self-love, otherwise, we fall short of the human experience.

• The continued Lover’s story-tale, and its love portal

• How loving yourself gives you everything you have ever wanted.

• Your Lover’s practice of devotion to embody the card’s codes. this is ritualist, devotional work. this is how we make change. the work is in the practice

• A Transmission of Invitation to come into embodied safety, and work towards a loving relationship with yourself as things come up

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, and break curses around money, love, and pleasure. in safety we open to receive.

join me xo

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