I used to watch random System Design videos and memorize architectures. It helped... until I got a new interview question.
What actually worked was learning a repeatable framework.
That’s why I like Educative’s Grokking the Modern System Design Interview course. One thing I found especially useful is that every problem starts with clarifying requirements before jumping into architecture, exactly how strong candidates approach real interviews.
A few years ago, my mentor, who is now a Director of Engineering, told me something I’ll probably never forget.
“Never let anyone demean you. Keep your ego massive.”
I remember thinking, Isn’t a big ego a bad thing?
He wasn’t talking about being arrogant. He meant something else.
He meant knowing your worth. Knowing what you bring to the table.
And not allowing someone else’s opinion to completely change how you see yourself.
I think we all need a little bit of that.
You might have a bad manager.
Someone might criticize your work. You might get passed over for a promotion.
Someone might make you feel like you’re not good enough.
Listen to the feedback. Maybe there’s something you need to improve.
Maybe you made a mistake. Fix it. Learn from it.
But don’t turn one person’s opinion into your identity.
There’s a big difference between:
“I made a mistake.”
and
“I’m not good enough.”
The first one helps you grow. The second one holds you back.
The same thing happens outside work.
A friend might constantly put you down.
A family member might keep comparing you to someone else.
Someone you care about might make you feel like you’re not enough.
You don’t always need to fight back. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself:
“I don’t deserve to be treated like this.”
And then do something about it.
Having self-respect doesn’t mean you think you’re better than everyone else.
It means you know when something isn’t good for you.
But don’t let ego make you blind
This is important. Having a strong ego doesn’t mean you should ignore criticism.
If your manager says you need to communicate better, listen.
If your teammate tells you that you’re difficult to work with, think about it.
If you hurt someone, apologize.
If you’re wrong, admit it.
Your ego should protect your self-worth, not protect you from reality.
That’s the difference.
Take the feedback. Take the lesson. Become better.
But don’t let someone make you feel small just because they don’t see your value.
Keep your ego massive
I don’t mean:
“I’m better than everyone.”
I mean:
“I know who I am.”
“I know what I’m capable of.”
“I can get better without hating myself in the process.”
You don’t have to prove your worth to everyone. You don’t have to respond to every insult. You don’t have to win every argument.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is keep moving.
And when life gives you the opportunity to help someone who is going through what you once went through…
Give it back.
Someone believed in you once.
Be that person for someone else.
Join my cohort
“Break Into Senior Engineering Roles,” a live cohort course to help you prepare better and position yourself right for tech interviews and senior engineering roles. [Check Details Here]
Be a Paid Subscriber
You can get maximum benefit of the high-performer community by being a paid subscriber here. Here are the benefits you get
Sponsor this newsletter
Want to reach 24,000+ senior engineers and tech leaders? [See sponsorship options]
Digital Products
Check out my digital products to help you grow better as a Software Engineer and Leader in Tech
Find me on
Any questions? Just email me at hemant.pandey17@gmail.com
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.