I have long held the belief that dogs come into our lives when we need them most (whether we realize it or not) and depart when their mission is complete. That is part of what drove me to train as an end-of-life doula for both humans and companion animals. So, when it became clear to me in recent weeks that my beloved friend Ruby Sue’s time on this earthly plane was coming to a close, I tried to step back and see our time together for what it was – a chapter in my story and an important one at that.
Ruby found me, rather auspiciously, at the exact moment I decided it was time to grow up and grow roots. She stayed with me as I worked to stick to that mission, through friendships shed and gained, through getting engaged and married, through different hobbies and hairstyles, through presidencies and a pandemic, and ultimately, from the start of my career at The Devon Group to assuming the role of CEO. Pretty much to the day.
Now, I could get all Marley & Me on you and wax poetic about what an amazing creature Ruby was (and she was), but that’s not the purpose of this newsletter. What I’m more interested in is how we show reverence for the important figures in our lives. The ones who are there day in and day out, ready to greet us with unconditional love, no matter how productive we were, how much AI we used, or what we contributed to our back-to-back meetings.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t take any time off after I let Ruby go at 5 p.m. on the last Monday in April. I set up my out-of-office and told people I’d get back to them on Tuesday. And that’s what I did. I went through the motions and got as much as I could done. I took breaks as needed. And it sucked. I didn’t want to talk about reports or results or anything other than why my dog wasn’t here anymore. But I got through the week and started another, which is where I am now. Still a little raw, though, with enough hindsight to help put things in perspective.
Given my sense that Ruby’s day was coming, I’ve been thinking about how we treat caretaking and bereavement over the last several months. Not animal versus human, just caretaking and bereavement, in general. Because who am I to assign a higher value to one life over another? And who are we to judge how those around us mourn their losses? To me, grief is grief. Taking time to process a loss (any loss – a job, a home, a love), remembering those who have passed, or simply catching up after a long period of care are all valid reasons for needing a break. No further questions. At least that’s how it should be.
And it seems that the world is starting to wake up to this idea. Italy now allows employees to take up to three days of paid leave to care for sick pets. States, including New York, Missouri, and Illinois, have all introduced bills regarding leave for pet care and/or bereavement. That isn’t really that surprising to me, given how low the birth rate is these days. Our chosen families look a lot different today than they did in decades past. Heck, work looks a lot different today than it did six months ago, let alone six years ago, and we are struggling in real time to catch up with that.
The operative word here is struggle. Grief is a struggle, and not recognizing our struggles is inhumane. People say we all grieve differently, but even so, we shouldn’t need to change laws to allow ourselves the space to grieve. We shouldn’t need to ask permission for extra time when we probably aren’t in the headspace anyway. And we certainly shouldn’t judge one another for who – or what – type of love they lose along their journey. The grieving tend to feel enough guilt as-is.
So, if you find yourself in a position to support someone feeling these feelings, remember that time and space are often the best gifts you can give. No strings attached. Just time and space.
“Lives don’t end. They move on.”
- TJ Klune, “Under the Whispering Door”
The author and her friend, Ruby Sue, circa 2014.
Dear Laura,
I know there’s always been some tension between HR and TA, but I’m noticing a backlash against recruiters on LinkedIn. I even heard someone say that HR leaders ‘don’t care’ what recruiters have to say. Are you seeing this at all? What can we do?
Thanks,
A Fellow Recruiter
To My Fellow Recruiter,
I get it. You want to partner well with your HRBPs and work as a truly collaborative team. But you’re feeling like they’re shutting you out. I wish I could tell you this was rare, but I hear it daily. Here’s the thing: it’s usually based on fear. HRBPs tend to want what they perceive as ‘the control’ with Leaders/Hiring Managers, so they often exclude you from meetings (not as a personal attack), because they want to maintain their perceived power and influence.
The problem with this is: it doesn’t work if the culture is truly meant to be a ‘strategic partnership.’ So, since you’re the first to notice this with them, you can start building trust and rapport. Let them know you’re a team player and want to ensure both of you are involved from the start of the search until the employee begins. The truth is, when TA and HR are misaligned, employees feel it. I see it most when you hear from employees, “It’s so weird, I was hired to do XYZ, but during my performance review, they told me I wasn’t doing enough ABC.” So what TA used as the evaluating competencies with the hiring manager don’t align with what the HRBP is discussing as performance metrics. It becomes a mess!
We can’t control the other side of a table, but we can keep our side of the street clean by letting that party know what we’d prefer. Prefer true collaboration? Prefer shared partnership? Prefer kind, humble and curious communication with them? Let them know. If it doesn’t change at all, you can ask leadership for training/coaching resources for both of you to bridge the gap. Still nothing happens? It may be a toxic culture that doesn’t value TA at all; that will be tricky to tackle on your own. Do what you can! And learn to let go of what you can’t. It’s tricky, and I see you.
Your friend,
Every time I turn around, there’s a new research report claiming to “cut through the noise” on AI adoption, and the latest one comes from ISACA, the Information Systems Audit and Control Association. Their big finding? “AI adoption is accelerating faster than organizational readiness.” And while they’re not wrong, I can’t help but drop one of my favorite quotes from The Devil Wears Prada in response, “Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.”
Sticking with this topic, The New York Times dove into the recent spate of AI-driven job losses amid a general lack of government support for a rapidly changing workforce. An interesting, almost footnote in the article points to the creation of the Trade Adjustment Assistance program in 1962 to combat globalization, which never reached its full potential due to political infighting and expired in 2022.
Variations on a theme … in his HR Executive article, titled “Why are there so many layoffs? Don’t buy the claims,” Peter Cappelli says the quiet parts out loud, pointing out that many of the companies cutting headcount aren’t actually struggling, as evidenced by the markets and recent earnings. He also looks at different possible reasons for what’s happening before dropping the ultimate truth: “Why are we squeezing HR and jobs? Because we can.”
Anita Lettink’s rebuttal piece, “If You Want to Build the Next Workday, Don’t Build the Next Workday,” offers an approachable breakdown of what’s happening on the HCM side of the space. It covers the technical without being overly technical.
The M&A acceleration trend I mentioned last time around continues with Greenhouse picking up Ezra AI and Deel snatching up Sastrify, and that’s just this week. Two of my former clients, Phenom and Plum, also got together recently. Maybe the 2026 buzzword will be consolidation? There’s still time.
Christy Honeycutt’s new book, “The Inner Work of Leading in a Broken System,” is now available for pre-order. Having talked to Christy extensively about this during the writing process, I highly recommend adding it to your reading list for later this year, when it’s officially released.
The SaaS Awards (final deadline May 22)
TechCrunch Founder Summit (call for content closes June 5)
DEAMcon 2027 (call for proposals closes August 15)
Reading: “Positive Obsession: The Life and Times of Octavia E. Butler” by Susana M. Morris. Every so often, I get heavy into biographies and autobiographies, and this work seems to be kicking off one of those periods.
Watching: One of my favorite local organizations, KYDS, was recently featured on PBS’ “Here’s the Story.” The episode is titled “Karmic Farmers,” and it takes a look at their mission and space.
Listening: Prisonnier Du Temps - Prendre Le Pouvoir Par La Force. The exceptionally talented Jacky Cadiou returns with a new album, set to be released on May 15. For now, there are two tracks up on Bandcamp for toe tapping.
Exploring: The latest from Sarah White – HRTechList. I spoke with Sarah a few weeks ago, and one of the things we kept coming back to was the need for a stronger sense of community within our community.
With that, I’m off to Corpus Christi to compete in a little less than two weeks, which means I’ll be back at the end of the month. After that, we return to our regularly scheduled programming, celebrating a full year of missives, musings, and rants! So, thanks for being here, and until next time, keep unlocking the how behind the hype.
- Katie
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.