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BOSTON — Local father Hank Lindemuler is growing tired of his son Simon Lindemuler asking him to check under the bed for... Continue reading this gem The post Dad Getting Sick of Son Asking Him to Check Under His Bed for Steven Tyler appeared first on HARDTIMES .
SHATTERFORD, England — Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant finally made a statement admitting that his hair is, in fact, noodles, confirmed sources... Continue this tale The post Robert Plant Admits Hair Is Noodles appeared first on HARDTIMES .
LOS ANGELES — The same ticket that used to get fans into a Duran Duran show will now only admit entry to... Continue this tale The post Shrinkflation on the Rise: Ticket Now Only Gets You One Duran appeared first on HARDTIMES .
When I found out I was pregnant, my first thought was, Will I keep it? Then I remembered I live in Texas... Continue reading this gem The post I Refuse To Get My Toddler Hooked on ‘Cocomelon’, So We Watch the Music Video for “Smack My Bitch Up” Instead appeared first on HARDTIMES .
You’re a beautiful and unique snowflake, aren’t you? Of course you are, you fucking bad-ass! So, what’s your favorite hobby? Is it... Read more nonsense The post Opinion “Eat, Sleep, Pretend Your Hobby Defines You as a Person, Repeat” appeared first on HARDTIMES .
AUSTIN, Texas — President Trump confirmed that he secretly abandoned a scheduled appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience due to an Iranian... Read the full masterpiece The post Trump Switches Podcast Appearance to Theo von, Leaving Joe Rogan Vulnerable to Iran Attack appeared first on HARDTIMES .
LAS VEGAS — In a shocking turn that has the entire court in a tailspin, prosecutors have announced that Tupac Shakur is... Read more nonsense The post Tupac Murder Trial in Chaos as Tupac Set To Testify appeared first on HARDTIMES .
If we lived in a country that wasn’t unmoored from morality and reality, President Trump’s genocidal threat to the Iranian people, “a... Read the full masterpiece The post The Next Trump? This IT Chud Keeps Threatening To Delete Civilization Game From My Work Laptop appeared first on HARDTIMES .
TAMPA, Fla. — MAGA rapper Dyson Red found himself earning street cred from his peers after snitching to the cops about a... Continue reading this gem The post MAGA Rapper Earns Street Cred After Snitching to the Cops appeared first on HARDTIMES .
I’m the housecat in a two-bedroom shared by four 23-year-old numbskulls, and I’m here to tell my story. I am sick and... Continue reading this gem The post I’m Tired of Being Told I Don’t Pay Rent When I Provide Free Therapy to Four Losers with Underdeveloped Frontal Lobes — Guest Column by a House Cat appeared first on HARDTIMES .
KHAN YUNIS, Palestine — Five Hamas insurgents living inside the face of a nursing infant have been eliminated, IDF Lieutenant General Eyal... Continue reading this gem The post Israel Kills Five Hamas Insurgents Living Inside the Face of a Baby appeared first on HARDTIMES .