# The Halfway Cafe Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them. Page: Feed: --- ## [Mitch McConnell's Musings From His Hospital Bed](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/mitch-mcconnells-musings-from-his) _2026-08-19 · The Halfway Cafe_ The Kentucky senator is very alive and lucid, just way more honest and talkative than he used to be! ## [Donald Trump Is Pissed Biden's Funeral Might "Upstage" His Own](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/donald-trump-is-pissed-bidens-funeral) _2026-08-15 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about Trump's funeral, his catering cart escape, Katie Phang's DOJ lawsuit, and more! ## [The DOJ Doesn't Like, Trust, Or Respect Todd Blanche](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/the-doj-doesnt-like-trust-or-respect) _2026-08-13 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about our new Attorney General, Josh Hawley, Christian men's gyms, and more! ## [Trump's Fast Food Diet Puts Him At Extreme Cyclosporiasis Diarrhea Risk](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/trumps-fast-food-diet-puts-him-at) _2026-08-08 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about Trump's excretory problems, Todd Blanche, closeted senators, and more! ## [Todd Blanche Sold His Soul To Satan To Be AG, Not "Acting AG"](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/todd-blanche-sold-his-soul-to-satan) _2026-08-03 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about Blanche, polls, Texas, and more! ## [Trump Won't Sue You For Calling Him A Pedophile Because He Can't](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/trump-wont-sue-you-for-calling-him) _2026-07-31 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about the Closetocracy, the Tate Bros, the collapse of MAGA, and more! ## [Trump Wants The FCC To Ban On-Air Mentions Of His Body Odor](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/trump-wants-the-fcc-to-ban-on-air) _2026-07-28 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about the midterms, Mitch McConnell, the Saudi nuclear deal, and more! ## [Dash Talks With Adrian Polk](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/dash-talks-with-adrian-polk-cf2) _2026-07-27 · The Halfway Cafe_ We talk about the Democratic primary schedule, Trump's Saudi deal, Elon Musk, national service, the Closetocracy, and more! [Listen](https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/208623792/3b2016a52e312a3d9cf8b68f64dc0711.mp3) ## [Trump Says He Can Run For A Third Term, But Obama Can't](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/trump-says-he-can-run-for-a-third) _2026-07-27 · The Halfway Cafe_ This week's Dada News headlines about Trump's third term, Andy Beshear, Andrew Tate, and more! ## [AI QA That Opens Fix PRs (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/OhQsFuHNisKB) _2026-07-27 · **Sponsored**_ Runs browser QA, files issues with repro evidence, and opens fix PRs. ## [The Clitorati, The Secretive Feminist Mafia Who Hate Trump, Are Growing Fast](https://thehalfwaycafe.substack.com/p/the-clitorati-the-secretive-feminist) _2026-07-26 · The Halfway Cafe_ The Clitorati calls itself a “post-Project 2025 menstrual insurgency.”