Appreciation

When I interviewed Alicia Renee aka Blue Eyes,

She was like a beloved politician

The way she waved at every soul

Not just at the idea of a person

No

She’d like meet you with her spirit

See you

And wave

I’d like to be like Alicia

I’d like to have Appreciation for life

Unconditionally

It doesn’t matter what I’m doing

In the moment

I’m there

I’m with it

I’m savoring it

Wherever it is

I’m outgrowing situations

Situations that felt like they were on repeat mode

Because I was on repeat mode

Like my current favorite song just played over and over again until I was

Like get me off the Gravitron before I pass out

I’m dizzy

Did you ever ride those

They were at every fair in the 90’s

You get into a giant spaceship and it spins you round and round

Faster and faster

You stick to the walls and when you get off

There is a reclamation period to normal earth Gravity

I feel like I’ve just re-acclimated to my own actual reality

A certain fear that things would never get better unless I controlled them used to guide my actions

Now I’m just like

It all works itself out

It’s working out

Appreciation

Alicia’s goodness comes back to her ten fold

She gives me hope for

The rest of my life honestly

She sings and she lights up the city no matter where she is standing

And everybody

And I mean everybody

Knows who she is

Not only that but

She looks out for us

I’m speaking at an event next Wednesday because of her

And she only met me once

But she did take the time to read my writing

How can I be of service to my community on that level

I’m working on it

Yesterday I spoke names of wonderful people for a moneymaking opportunity into the void

Aka I wrote two emails

With lists of names to be read and summoned

For something mutually beneficial and cool

It’s in those moments where I feel most effective

I just want all my friends to make more money because of my actions

That’s what I could never get The Chicago Theatre Community to see

I have always been like that

Always

And at some point back there

I got crucified for it

Several times but now I’m here

And there will be more pain but that doesn’t mean I have to give it so much power

When I look back at my Chicago Theatre days great things happened too

I accomplished a lot with other people

But I was never singing in the streets in Chicago the way I sell books in the streets in New Orleans

I was never willing to go where I go now fearlessly

I appreciate all of the things that once scared me that don’t anymore

I appreciate that I had the courage to conquer them and that I stuck around long enough to realize that none of those fears were real

Were worthy of any thoughts of mine

I’m about to lock my shit in the womens’ lock room and wander my new gym in search of a workout before my swim

I’m finishing my mushroom coffee

I’m setting intentions for the day

This

This is my affirmation this morning

It’s important to note that Alicia’s sets in the street are 6 hours long

Can you imagine waving, smiling, and connecting with others for 6 hours straight while singing?

While singing!?

While sharing your prized craft at the mercy of the elements?

It’s no walk in the park

Most couldn’t even finish one song

She’s a modern day super hero

The light in me recognizes the light in her

Thank you

I hope that one day I can do something half as courageous as that

And have everybody admire me for it the way they

Smile big right after she leaves their sight

The way I smiled big walking past her for over a year before we met

Music is the most New Orleans language

A place where many languages are spoken

Our melting pot melts together with the beat

Everybody knows what it feels like to feel the emotions behind a belt

And there’s nothing quite like those jazz standards

They’re ancient texts at this point

Like the Greek Tragedies of Western Civilization

Jazz is American Civilizations’ voice

And we can all be a part of it

We can all play our part

But first before anything else

We have to appreciate

And appreciate and appreciate

And see and know and hear and love

Without requiring anything in return but a simple acknowledgement back

And not even that sometimes

To be a performer in this life is to be an alchemist

But don’t worry The Mississippi is always there on the other side of the Quarter helping you

Staring at it on the Moonsteps makes me feel the way I do

When somebody sees me

Waves and I wave back

You’re just in awe of the wonders all around you

I can’t believe I wake up to this French Quarter world every single day