Polyamory isn’t one-size-fits-all, there are many ways to practice this relationship style. Some people dream of multiple life partners and others prefer one primary relationship with occasional exploration. You can also be Monogamish or Ambiamorous and still be considered part of the polyamory, non-monogamy community. If you’re new to polyamory or even returning to this way of relating, take this 10-question quiz to find out which level(s) of connection you desire. Keep track of whether you choose mostly A, B, C, or D, then scroll to the bottom to find your polyamory blueprint for future connections.
Instructions: For each question, choose the answer that feels most like you. Keep track of whether you choose mostly A, B, C, or D.
If there were no societal expectations, what would your ideal romantic life look like?
A. One deeply committed partner for life.
B. Honestly, I could be happy with one partner or multiple partners depending on the relationship.
C. Several meaningful connections, but I don’t necessarily need multiple life partners.
D. Multiple loving, committed relationships where everyone is free to grow together.
For a relationship to feel fulfilling, how much time together do you ideally want?
A. Living together or seeing each other almost every day.
B. A few times each week feels perfect.
C. Once a week or every couple of weeks works well.
D. I value a lot of independence and don’t think frequent time together determines commitment.
Which future sounds the most exciting?
A. Building one incredible life partnership.
B. I’m open to whatever relationship structure feels healthiest.
C. Having meaningful relationships without every connection needing to become lifelong.
D. Building a life with multiple committed partners, separately or intertwined.
You’re already in a happy relationship when you develop feelings for someone new. What’s your first instinct?
A. I’d probably let the feelings pass.
B. It would depend on my relationship agreements and how serious the feelings became.
C. I’d enjoy getting to know them without assuming it needs to become a serious relationship.
D. I’d be excited to explore whether another loving relationship could develop.
How do casual dating, hookups, or play fit into your ideal relationship life?
A. They’re not really something I want.
B. Maybe under the right circumstances, but they aren’t a priority.
C. They’re definitely something I enjoy and want the freedom to explore.
D. They’re fun, but my biggest goal is building multiple loving relationships.
How important is maintaining your own independent life outside your relationships?
A. I enjoy sharing most of my life with my partner.
B. Balance is important. I try to make time for myself outside of my relationships whenever possible.
C. Very important. I want to be me, not lost in the title of a relationship.
D. Extremely important, I prioritize my independence and my relationship with myself so I can be my best for others. I don’t think commitment requires constant closeness.
When you imagine your future “family,” what feels most like home?
A. One partner and maybe kids or chosen family.
B. I honestly could picture either: One partner, or multiple and be happy either way.
C. A large community of partners, lovers, friends, and chosen family.
D. Multiple committed partners who may or may not all live together but share life in meaningful ways.
Which statement resonates the most?
A. I find comfort in focusing deeply on one relationship.
B. I value flexibility more than or just as much as labels.
C. I want the freedom to connect with different people in different ways.
D. I believe love isn’t limited, and I’d like room for multiple committed relationships.
If time, communication, and logistics weren’t obstacles, you’d rather invest your emotional energy into...
A. One relationship.
B. One relationship or more, whatever feels right at that stage of my life.
C. Several different connections with varying levels of intimacy.
D. Multiple deeply invested romantic relationships.
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