For those of you who are new around here or new to my work, I want to take a sec to (re)introduce myself. I’m Katherine Goldstein, author of the forthcoming book, NEIGHBORING: How to Build Community You Can Count On (out April 2027 from Penguin Random House.)
I’m also a speaker and consultant for companies who see employee engagement, collaboration, and connection as an essential skill and competitive advantage in the age of AI. (If you want to learn more about the latter two aspects of my work, feel free to reach out at katherine@thedoubleshift.com) I’m also the mom of three, including pandemic twins, and I live in Durham, NC.
My Substack claim to fame is that I’ve coined the term “Deep Casual Hosting,” which is the idea that you go casual on all of the superficial aspects of hosting in order to go deeper on your connections and do it more often. Over the last year, I’ve loved hearing stories from other writers and readers about how powerful this practice is in building their social connections.
This month I want to go deep on Deep Casual Hosting with a couple of guest essays that explore different angles on how to make it easier to get together. Summer is a great time to try out or put some more Deep Casual hosting reps in; it’s easier to be outside, putting less pressure on us to get those houses in sparkling clean shape, and summer lends itself to more grilling, picnics, ice cream, campfires, and more low-lift ways to gather. I’ll also launch a chat later this month for members about how their Deep Casual Hosting is going this summer where we can brainstorm ideas and encourage each other.
There are two ongoing fun chats that I’d love for people to keep the conversation going on: one on block party hosting, and one for the phone call challenge, where we encourage each other to pick up the phone! I promise, it’s a gamechanger.
For many years, my journalistic focus was on social and economic issues facing families, and issues facing moms and caregivers. This lens is still very much imprinted on my work: part of the reason I wanted to write a book that teaches people how to build IRL connections is that I think so many of the big, systemic problems families and caregivers face and made much worse by our isolation; we need real public policy fixes for these issues. But something we can do is strengthen our connections right this minute is to invest in neighbors and village relationships. This is something we are somehow supposed to know how to do even though our society has been leading us by the collar towards nuclear family isolation for decades, and the pandemic seriously atrophied our habits and social skills. This newsletter looks at the big picture and the practical of what it takes to build connection you can count on.
One of my favorite topics to write about over the years (and has been perennially popular with readers) are some of the big problems with how America handles summer.
This research inspired me to opt out of the American summer camp madness by taking my kids to Costa Rica for five weeks last summer, and we’re going again this year!
If you are curious about how I did it, you can read all about it in this newsletter.
I also created a comprehensive guide for how to pull it off yourself, so if you are gearing up for expensive camp after camp this summer, and want to think about a different path in future years, I’m running a flash sale for 30% off the guide until June 30! Use the code FLASH at checkout.
For those of you getting ready for summer trips of any kind, here’s a link to my summer travel product recs, previously only available to guide purchasers... Don’t sleep on that sunscreen, y’all! I did a lot of research before taking my fair, freckled redhead child closer to the equator! I’ve also become a real points/miles hound, so I’ve started using Rove, a universal miles program for my online shopping. It’s free, and you can get a 500 mile signup bonus using this link.
And if you need a laugh so you don’t cry about the summer camp demands, please enjoy my newsletter from a few years ago about camp reminder emails.
And a few more links:
The Daily: Can AI Make People Less Lonely?
If you are interested in getting to know your neighbors (without all of the baggage of platforms like next door) give this new app, Hey There Neighbor a try, where is helps you find hyperlocal neighbors to get to know them with a 10 min chat, no party planning or long-term commitments required.
Jessica Grose’s opinion column: Why Americans Are Afraid of Their Neighbors plus my thoughts on Linkedin on the intersecting crises of trust, isolation, and how we don’t give our kids enough independence, which has a great comment section going. (I’d love to connect with you over there, too btw.)
My friend Darby Saxbe book, Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How it Shapes Men’s Lives is out next week, and it’s a wonderful Father’s Day gift.
Can’t wait to read my friend Jo Piazza’s new book, The Parisian Heist, which you can pre-order now.
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