Letting the Field Go Fallow

A harvest suggests the gathering of something that has ripened. It suggests that someone (let’s call that someone a farmer), has tilled the soil, removed the rocks, planted crops, watered, fertilized and weeded those crops and at just the right moment of ripeness, has gathered those crops.

And where did those crops grow? Let’s say they grew in a field. So we have a field, a farmer and a harvest.

And what does the farmer do after the crops are harvested? The farmer allows the field to go fallow, for the soil in the field needs to rest before being expected to produce another crop.

Just as the soil needs to rest, so does the farmer. The farmer has put in many hours over many months tending the field. And now that the crop has been harvested, it’s time for the farmer to sit back and receive the bounty of what (s)he has produced.

I was today years old when I finally connected these dots for myself. Duh! After 50 years of tending the field (my life), and being ever so productive, it is just now dawning on me that this farmer needs a rest.

I have never been good at resting. Hell! I’m not even good at sleeping. I have not slept through the night in over 45 years. I do not wear this like a badge of honor. It is simply a fact. People say, “You can sleep when you’re dead.” Uh, ok, but how about a little sleep while I’m alive as well?

I am now in a season of learning how to rest and have come to the realization that it ultimately comes down to giving myself permission to stop. Just stop. So many things to stop doing. But mainly stop with the story that my worth is tied up with my productivity. I’m finding it a hard story to stop. (See my prior post on The Chief Life Enforcement Officer’s retirement party).

And so this farmer is finally allowing herself, or perhaps more accurately, working on allowing herself, and her field to go fallow for a time.

My Deep Harvest is the recognition that when I stop, the world will keep going. The planets will stay in their orbits and the stars will remain in the heavens. The world does not require my vigilance in order to keep going. It will all be fine.

Sometimes the farmer needs to eat her own harvest before giving it to the world

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