"He'd Better Be A Damn Good Person"

I have a very clear memory of when I met Joe. It was September 2021 and my daughter was starting first grade at a new school, her third new school in three years. We were at the first birthday party of the year, outdoors in Riverside Park, face masks pulled under our chins, eager to meet other families. When Joe’s son, Ryan, and my daughter, Esme struck a friendship, it gave my wife and I an opportunity to meet Joe and his wife, Crystal.

Since then, I’ve gotten to know Joe about as well as two dads can over five years of school events: close enough to appreciate the work he’s doing as a dad to wonder how - and why - he does it. Superficially, Joe is unique at our school for his commitment to his kids’ tennis endeavors. He once described to me in intricate detail the cost-benefit analysis and lived experience of choosing a daily car rental over taxi rides for his multiple-times-a-day trips to the John McEnroe Tennis Center on Randalls Island, a small spit of land next to Manhattan that you access via the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Platform 9¾ exit of the RFK Bridge. To this role of parent-coach, Joe brings his own experience as a varsity tennis player at Stanford.

I’ll be honest: Joe is the kind of dad who makes me wonder if I’m doing enough as a dad. Also, how cool is it that he played varsity tennis at Stanford? It activates the region of my Asian American heart occupied by Kristi Yamaguchi, Michelle Kwan, Jeremy Lin, and of course, Michael Chang, who became a household name when he shocked the world by winning The French Open in 1989 as a 5-foot-6 135-pound 17 year old.

When Joe and Crystal recently shared their plans to move back to Joe’s hometown in Southern California, I assumed it was for tennis. That’s just the beginning of Joe’s story: it takes place on the tennis court, but the game being played is life and karma matters more than your first serve.