The true cost of weddings.

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The average wedding in New Zealand now costs $87,600. That’s up from $58,800 two years ago. In the UK it’s closer to £25,000, in the US around $35,000, and in the US, 56% of couples went into debt to pay for one. A third later said they wished they’d spent less.

This week, Soph sat down with Margie Riddiford, the co-founder of VEIL Magazine, to work through why weddings have become a five figure financial event, and what’s actually worth the money. While Margie spends her working life living and breathing wedding aspiration, she also got married in a really low-key way at Huka Lodge.

Somewhere between the venue deposit and the videographer invoice, most people lose the thread of a fairly simple question. Is this spend in line with what actually matters to me? Or am I planning a wedding in response to what I think a wedding is ‘supposed to look like’? They’re two very different decisions, where the price tag attached hits different. One more likely to leave you with regrets on what a how you spent.

We put the same questions to The Curve community to see if the stats matched up with what we were seeing online. It was so fascinating to look through the data so thank you to everyone who shared their details!

Here are some of the top line stats we found:

• Nearly half of you kept total spend under $30,000.

• Close to a quarter spent over $50,000

• 6% spent more than $100,000.

• And around half funded of you funded your wedding through savings, compared to half who used family contributions.

• Only 1 in 10 leaned on a credit card or a loan.

I must say - we were very proud to see how few of you went into debt compared to more global statistics! Perhaps you’re learning a thing or two here?

What people regretted most: extra guests and the catering that came with the awkward extras, a cake nobody really ate, and paying for a photographer or videographer who didn’t deliver.

What almost nobody regretted: paying properly for a photographer or videographer who did deliver.

Curious how your own wedding, or the one you’re planning, stacks up? We’re publishing the full, anonymous survey results, every spending bracket, every regret, in a separate piece next Friday. Subscribe (it’s free) so you don’t miss it.

"I think a lot of people do lose track of that within the marquees and the flowers and the cost involved." – Margie Riddiford

We have heard a lot of rhetoric about ‘the wedding tax’, and how the moment you say ‘this is for a wedding’ the cost increases astronomically. Interesting in this episode, Margie pushes back on this idea. In her experience, most of the small businesses behind florals, cakes and photography are pricing in the pressure of the day itself where there are no room for mistakes.

“I think there is value in that. There is value in that.”

Most of our community who received family contributions said it came without strings, however some didn’t.

"My stepfather insisted his whole family could come. I'd never spent time with a lot of them." - anonymous

Another said the opposite: “We got a $25,000 gift with no conditions, no say in the guest list.” - anonymous

Margie’s take: if you’re accepting money, it’s worth deciding in advance what you’re willing to trade for it, and being honest with yourself about that trade.

Of everything we asked in our anonymous wedding survey, the one thing that most people didn’t regret spending on was the photography and videography. Margie’s take on this was “it’s the only way to actually relive the day afterwards.”.

Couples who invested properly in it feel it pays dividends for years, not because of the aesthetics, but because it’s the version of the day their kids will eventually get to see.

Which is exactly why we’re teaming up with MILK Books, they turn the photos still sitting on your phone into something that actually gets opened again, and again. Handcrafted, printed properly, made to last.

Head over to our Instagram to see how you can enter.

If you don’t want to wait for the draw, MILK Books is offering The Curve community up to 40% off, evergreen via this link.

Soph, Vic & The Curve team x