The Middle School Pecking Order

"There's a pecking order in middle school, and the meaner you are, the higher you go."

I’ve said that sentence to three different moms in the last month, and every single one of them just nodded. Nobody asked me to explain it. They already knew.

Elise starts middle school in a few days. I’ve bought the folders and the locker shelf and the required gym clothes, but that’s not what’s kept me up at night. What’s kept me up is everything nobody puts on the supply list. The friend group that might not survive the summer. The group chat she’s not in yet, that already has rules she doesn’t know. The version of herself she’s about to build in a building where nobody remembers who she was in third grade.

So before I get into the six conversations I’m actually having with her, I want to tell you why I’m having them. Because other moms told me their stories first, and I haven’t stopped thinking about them since.