I don’t know if it’s the algorithm or just the people I follow but lately, whenever I open any app, I get hit with the same feeling: that everyone is taking themselves wayyyyy too seriously.
Maybe it’s hustle culture, maybe it’s content creators trying to grow in a world where IG is out to get us all. I genuinely can’t pinpoint the source and, trust me, I’ve tried. I just know the ick is showing up more than it used to, and I don’t think it’s a me problem (although it very well could be).
I love when people are proud of their achievements, or they’re chasing big goals. Do that! But there’s a specific flavor of earnestness going around that I can’t take. It’s more so the tone and the self-importance. It feels like we’ve collectively decided that talking about our own lives like we’re the first person to ever do the thing is a personality trait instead of what it actually is: a red flag.
And look, I know this is a bit rich coming from someone who made running a marathon her whole personality. But I’d like to think I wasn’t out there acting like I’d discovered running. I trained like it was a full time job despite being, at best, aggressively mid at it, because something in my brain simply does not know how to do things halfway.
The problem here is main character energy without a shred of self-awareness. It’s the “here’s the hook Claude wrote for me” and “here’s how I edit my videos to hit retention” and the same optimized template posted over and over (AND OVER) again until the algorithm notices you. It’s not even content anymore, it’s a strategy deck wearing content as a costume. I get it, growth is hard, the algorithm is a beast. I just don’t really want it on my feed anymore. It is so BORING. And fake.
What I’m currently starved for is multifaceted people. The internet used to have more of that, and now it feels like everyone picked a lane, one that is slightly self-righteous, and stayed in it. I thought Substack would be safe from it, but my algorithm here has also been a lot of “like my post and I will like one back!” type of content.
The honest answer is probably that I should just curate better. Mute a few people, unfollow a few more, go find actual comedians instead of letting the algorithm keep serving me people who talk about “building in public” like it’s scripture. I realize that’s been how social media has been working the past few years and I’ve just been too pregnant/in the throes of child-rearing to have enough free time to actually notice.
One creator I’ve been loving for exactly this reason is Remi Bader — she manages to be funny and real about hard stuff without ever slipping into main-character-syndrome mode. Or endurance athlete Hugo Fry. Can run a 2:17 marathon but not without making fun of himself the whole time. More of that, please.
If you’ve got creators like that in your rotation, people who are proud of things without being precious about them, send them my way. I want to fix my feed and avoid deleting my account (even though realistically that might be the only answer).
One last thing: this is a one-way conversation. I will not be taking notes on my own social media at this time. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
The one-on-one trip every kid deserves
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Jul 23
James and I just got back from our very first and most-definitely-not-last solo trip. Ok, not quite solo, because we roped in the camping queen herself, my mum Ann Holt, to join us. But solo in the sense that it was just one kid, no siblings, no referee duty, and most importantly no “if you poke your brother in the eye one more time!!!” threats.
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