To introduce this week’s practice, we’ll quote from John O’Donohue’s book, To Bless the Space Between Us:
It would be infinitely lonely to live in a world without blessings. The word blessing invokes a sense of warmth and protection. It suggests that no life is alone or unreachable. Each life is clothed in raiment of spirit that secretly links it to everything else. Though suffering and chaos befall us, they can never quench that inner light of providence. ….
A blessing evokes a privileged intimacy. It touches that tender membrane where the human heart cries out to its divine ground. In the ecstasy and loneliness of one’s life, there are certain times when blessing is nearer to us than any other person or thing. A blessing is not a sentiment or a question; it is a gracious invocation where the human heart pleads with the divine heart. ….
In the parched deserts of postmodernity, a blessing can be like the discovery of a fresh well. It would be lovely if we could rediscover our power to bless one another. I believe each of us can bless. When a blessing is invoked it changes the atmosphere. Some of the plenitude flows into our hearts from the invisible neighbourhood of loving kindness. In the light and reverence of blessings, a person or situation becomes illuminated in a completely new way. In a dead wall a new window opens, in dense darkness a path starts to glimmer and into a broken heart healing falls like morning dew. It is ironic that so often we continue to live like paupers though our inheritance of spirit is so vast. The quiet eternal that dwells in our souls is silent and subtle, in the activity of blessing it emerges to embrace and nurture us. Let us begin how to learn to bless one another. Whenever you give a blessing, a blessing returns to enfold you.
Last year around this time, inspired by my daughter’s Mad Libs obsession, we created the sweet and silly practice of a fill-in-the-blank blessing. We invited you all to share yours and were surprised alongside you by how emotional and significant these blessings ended up becoming.
I wonder if it’s because, when asked to bless ourselves, we had to reckon with some tender questions: What do I need right now? What am I afraid of? What am I longing for? What do I actually believe I deserve?
This week, we decided to turn those questions outward. We’re going to do as John O’Donahue suggests and participate in the sacred work of blessing the people we love. Like Jesus in last week’s Lectio Divina practice, we are going to speak true and beautiful things over our loved ones.
So grab your pen, your creativity and probably a box of tissues, because this fun little exercise always ends up stirring more than we anticipate. Because to be blessed means to be seen and there is something quite sacred and special in that.
Inspired by O’Donohue’s poem “For Belonging”.
(Paid subscribers, we have a handy mad-libs style worksheet for you this week, to make the process a little easier!)
1. Choose Your Person
Think about someone you love and would like to bless. Hold them in your mind - picture their face and imagine their voice. Consider the intricacies and idiosyncrasies that make them unique.
How do they reflect Light in their own special way?
What little habits or qualities endear them to you?
Consider their inner world: the intimacies of need and emotion that they have shared with you.
What do they worry about?
What are they longing for?
What frustrates them?
Let your familiarity and fondness for them fill you up as you sit for a minute.
2. Prepare Your Key Grab a piece of paper and write the letters a–p, leaving room beside each one. (Paid subscribers, just use your worksheet!)
Then fill in the prompts below:
a. A season, circumstance, or experience this person is living through
ex: a new beginning, uncertainty, parenthood, grief, transition.
b. Something they are longing for
ex: rest, freedom, belonging, courage, clarity, adventure
c. Something you see growing in them
ex: tenderness, confidence, curiosity, wisdom, playfulness
d. A quality you love about them
ex: generosity, ridiculous humor, honesty, tenacity, warmth
e. A place in their life that could use a little spaceex: their work, their home, their heart, their schedule, their imagination
f. Something you hope they remember about themselves
ex: they are enough, they are loved, they are not alone, they are allowed to change
g. Something true and beautiful that they might have trouble seeing in themselves
ex: their resilience, their creativity, the way people feel safe around them
h. A fear, burden, or weight you hope they can set down
ex: perfectionism, shame, the fear of disappointing people
i. A place where you hope they encounter Light (can be a physical or metaphysical place)
ex: their favorite chair, the forest, a new friendship, their own reflection
j. Something that you know brings them back to themselves
ex: music, meditation, running, making things, a pet
k. A small or ordinary thing you hope will delight them
ex: birdsong, unexpected laughter, rainstorm, fresh sheets, a really good sandwich
l. A word you would use to describe their soul
ex: curious, tender, luminous, brave, whimsical
m. A relationship, memory, or place that holds meaning for them
ex: their grandmother, childhood hero, a particular tree, the house they grew up in
n. A specific truth you hope they can make room for
ex: rest is sacred, they don’t have to earn belonging, there is still beauty here, their life can be different from what they imagined
o. Their name or a nickname you have for them
p. A blessing or identity you would declare over them
ex: Beloved, sweet sister, child of God, brave one, treasured friend
3. Assemble/Read Your BlessingTake your answers from the key and drop them into the blessing below. Read it out loud to see how it feels. Notice places where you are striving to say what you think they need to hear, as opposed to seeing them with fondness and truth. (Read the O’Donohue quote again if it helps!) A Blessing for My Friend
May you be met in this season of a,
and may the frames of your belonging be generous enough for your b.
May you notice the c growing steadily within you,
and may you never forget the d that has always made you unmistakably you.
May there be spaciousness around your e,
and when you forget who you are, may you remember f.
May you begin to see the g that I see in you,
and may you loosen your grip on h.
May you never place walls between yourself and the Light,
and may you find it in i, even when you aren’t looking for it.
When the world becomes loud, may j gather you back to yourself.
May your days be interrupted by k.
May there be harmony between your soul and your life,
and may the wild, l beauty of the invisible world gather you, mind you, and embrace you.
May m remind you that your life is part of a larger story.
And may you make room for the truth that n,
not because you have finally figured everything out,
but because your life is worthy of spaciousness, wonder, and becoming.
Listen closely, o.
You are not a problem to solve.
You are not a project to complete.
You are p.
You are Beloved.
You belong.
And I am so delighted that you exist.
4. Send or KeepNow that you have read and considered the blessing, you can decide what to do with it.
Maybe you text the whole thing to your friend. Maybe you write it in a card, tuck it into their bag or leave it on their desk.
Or maybe this particular blessing is just for you. Maybe the practice was simply to spend ten quiet minutes seeing someone you love through tender eyes and trusting that they are held without you jumping in to console or fix. Maybe you enjoy the Quaker practice of holding someone you love in the Light.
If you are one of our many friends who are navigating a painful recovery from spiritual trauma or simply feel like you are wandering a liminal faith space, I hope this practice reminds you that you are deeply loved, seen, held and safe. Your body is good and you can trust what it holds. Any version of god that made you feel otherwise is merely a brittle counterfeit that you can feel free to discard in your pursuit of the real deal. We’ll be here, cheering you on.
Additional Resources:
✽ This essay by KJ Ramsey felt applicable today, as blessing can sometimes smack of “I’m praying for you”…which frankly does not always feel good in the moment.
✽ Here’s what we mean by “holding someone in the Light”
✽ The O’Donohue poem that this practice is inspired by is in this book. But we found it online here.
This week paid subscribers get:
✍️🎨 A Blessing for A Friend Mad Lib Worksheet
In case you missed it…we recently launched our third curriculum collaboration with Zippee Kids! This 9-week curriculum walks kids through each fruit of the Spirit and is perfect for summer programming! Click here to read more and snag a discount code!
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