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The Bitter Pen · Nov 10, 2023

My European Adventure

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Brian · The Bitter Pen

Next Week: A Floral Celebration

There is another comic below, should you decide to skip the written stuff.

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Here’s another line from the poem I wrote for student worker Z, based on questions she asked and our conversations that ensued:

The key word here is the verb:

Practice.

Because the only way to get adept at stating what we want, to speak our truth in difficult situations, is to practice. And what are we practicing? Here’s what Psychology Today says:

Assertiveness is a social skill that relies heavily on effective communication while simultaneously respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. People who are assertive clearly and respectfully communicate their wants, needs, positions, and boundaries to others.


For some, assertiveness seems to come naturally. Most of us aren’t so fortunate. The practice of assertiveness can be especially challenging for introverts, for instance, who tend toward quiet, particularly in group settings.

The struggle to be assertive can be real, too, for those of us who come from backgrounds in which we were made to doubt our own experiences. For Z, well, what she experienced growing up was more a kind of social violence. Forceful. Demeaning. Traumatizing. A place where speaking for oneself could often led to dire consequences.

Wait. Why would I pull you through the reams, when the Mayo Clinic already has benefits and best practices well covered? I wouldn’t. Let me boil it down, then, to this:

Practice assertiveness, and you’ll be more content at day’s end.

Even when things don’t go your way.

After that, Zen.

Quick Sketches from the Week

What Milo tells me every morning: likes being petted, hates being touched.
Sketched in idle minutes during a Zoom meeting. The tape covers a student ID. I’m a light sleeper by DNA, says 23 & Me. And I’m now on a medication that makes me an even lighter sleeper. I have not had a sound sleep in a week. Getting weird over here.
I read somewhere that Keith Richards says something like this when his turn to be lead singer comes up at Rolling Stones concerts. So this is almost plagiarized. Almost because here I acknowledge the source. Which is more than Keith does. Turns out he pinched the line from some long-ago performer without acknowledgment. Which I guess has me back to plagiarism.

Read the original on thebitterpen.substack.com

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