Why the fuck is nobody letting the database act? TigerData gives agents Postgres. GibsonAI killed its “AI backend engineer” and rebranded to MemoriLabs : memory for other people’s agents. Useful? Yes. Agentic? No. OpenAI defines agents as systems that “independently accomplish tasks on your behalf.” Everything the database companies sell inverts that sentence. The database is not the system…
Boy, is there a lot of shit floating around “agentic analytics.” Nobody woke up asking for it. It is the phrase you get when every BI platform, dashboard vendor, copilot, semantic-layer company, and embedded analytics product needs to sound inevitable in 2026. But buried inside the repackaging is the thing data software kept promising and never delivered: action. What it is not: a chatbot for your…
The data team buys your dashboards, and is the immune system killing anything that makes dashboards optional. BI's only escape is three trades nobody wants to sign.