This is the place for all things recovery, healing, and relationships. We explore a variety of topics with people in recovery and the professionals who help them through personal stories. This podcast will give you a broad look at the aspects of recovery that make a difference.
In this episode, we explore three relational skills that often get confused: Validation says, “If I am you—with your history, family of origin, and the meaning this held for you—I understand how you got there.” Agreement says, “I reached essentially the same conclusion.” Accepting influence says, “Because you matter to me, what you shared is allowed to affect my understanding or what I do next.”…
For a lot of people, those are surprisingly difficult questions to answer. Sometimes we genuinely don't know. Sometimes we know, but we've learned to keep parts of ourselves private. Sometimes we've gotten very good at figuring out what's practical, reasonable, available, or best for everyone else before we consider what we actually want. And sometimes "be grateful" quietly became "don't want…
There's a moment almost everyone knows: someone says something, and before you've even processed it, you're already deciding not to react. You smile. You let it go. And somewhere in that quiet moment, you might be abandoning yourself. In this episode, I talk about the difference between self-abandonment (the pattern) and self-betrayal (the moment-by-moment choice that builds it) — and why…
Your "difficult" child might just be determined. Your "too much" might just be someone who hasn't finished growing into her enthusiasm yet. In this episode, I talk about the difference between adaptation and development, why the traits that got labeled as problems in childhood (stubborn, dramatic, bossy, shy) were often never the problem at all. They just hadn't matured yet. We go deep:…
The deepest injury of narcissistic neglect isn't what happened to you. It's what never consistently happened for you. Nobody wondering what you were thinking. Nobody asking what you felt. Nobody staying curious about who you were becoming. And when those thousands of small moments are largely absent, something else develops in their place. Not a self. An adaptation. An identity organized around…
In this episode, Rachel joins Jackie as they dive into the intricacies of early recovery in therapy. In this episode, they discuss the foundational stages of addiction recovery, focusing on the challenges faced by individuals new to therapy. From addressing justification and rationalization to the role of accountability, Jackie and Rachel offer insights into the vital components that set the stage…
That question has been on my mind after two clients asked me to record this episode. For some of us, touch meant comfort and safety. For others, it meant obligation, manipulation, or even fear. Some of us grew up in families that hugged all the time. Others rarely experienced physical affection. And sometimes, it wasn't the presence or absence of touch that mattered most—it was what that touch…
Changing your patterns doesn't just change you. It changes the relationships around you. One of the biggest surprises in healing is that being healthier doesn't always feel better, at least not at first. The people around you have learned the old dance just as much as you have. So when you stop over-explaining, caretaking, shutting down, or apologizing for everything, the relationship often…
You can understand your pattern completely. You can know exactly where it came from, what it's protecting you from, why it shows up the way it does. And still, in the moment, you do the thing anyway. That's because understanding a pattern and interrupting it are two different skills. And interrupting it and actually replacing it — building something to put in its place — that's a third skill…
Understanding your patterns is one thing. Interrupting them in real time is something else entirely. In this episode, we talk about the tiny space between the trigger and the reaction — and how to find it, use it, and slowly make it bigger. Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing…
