I sit down with poet, therapist, and author Sara Rian to talk about the day her world changed. Sara’s mom, Susan, died by suicide in July 2018 when Sara was just 28, and this conversation goes straight into the parts of grief after suicide loss that so many of us are afraid to say out loud.
We talk about what it’s really like in those first immobilizing weeks. The police calls, the organ donation decision, planning a funeral while still in shock, and more.
Sara opens up about the anger she felt, not at her mom, but at a world that felt unsafe, and the guilt that lingered long after. She also shares how her mother’s earlier suicide attempts throughout her childhood shaped an anxious attachment and a belief that her mom simply “couldn’t” die.
This episode is also a love letter to healing tools that actually work. Sara talks about what saved her life: therapy, suicide-loss support groups, community, and writing “Insta poetry” starting just days after her mom died. She’s since written seven books. We also get into how becoming a mom herself unlocked a whole new layer of grief she wasn’t expecting.
✨ Why the early days after a suicide loss can feel physically immobilizing
✨ Navigating police involvement, organ donation calls, and funeral planning in real time
✨ Why Sara’s anger was directed at the world, not her mother
✨ How childhood exposure to suicide attempts shapes anxious attachment
✨ The lifesaving role of therapy, support groups, and community after suicide loss
✨ How writing poetry within days of loss became a form of survival
✨ Becoming a mother without her own mom, and the grief that surfaced
If you’ve lost someone to suicide, or you love someone who has, this episode will help you feel less alone in it.
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