[!info] Series Note This post is my entry for July’s IndieWeb Carnival being hosted by Joe Crawford.
Joe prompts:
I invite you to consider what masks and cosplay mean and how they interact with identity, for you.
For effectively my entire life, I’ve been said to be a bit of a chameleon. I don’t dress up in costumes or attend events or conventions for people that enjoy that lifestyle. I just put on whatever mask or masks that are needed in pretty much any situation. There have been times where I’ve wondered does this make me fake, or relatable? Both?
One day, as I matured and grew into myself, I came to a realization. I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a shit if someone thinks I’m fake, if I know that I’m a genuine person. If the masks that I put on allow me to engage with a person or group of people in ways that make me, them or both of us more comfortable, then what’s the harm? There are times that I’m mid-sentence with my kids and someone knocks on the door or the phone rings and I need to answer…
This is Steve.
Why do you sound like that when you talk to other people?
Sound like what?
Like… not like you. Like meaner, or more serious.
I dunno. That’s just how I sound with other people. But why would I sound like that with you? You’re the ones that get this me.
It’s always made sense to me. I flip these masks round and round all day long and I always have. I speak to my mother-in-law and her friends in a pseudo-Spanish accented English. She’s never judged me for it. Is that a mask, or does that mean that I grew up in Miami and understand most Spanish and simply don’t care to sound like an ignorant gringo when I pronounce words to a primarily Spanish-speaking person I love? Either way… guess what? Don’t give a shit.
So for the second part of Joe’s prompt… my masks are my identity. Some days I wear them for fun; some days for protection. Some masks are for work and others for play, but they’re all me. Whenever I die, if someone were to talk to a cross section of the many lives mine came into contact with, I’d hope the consensus was simply…
That was Steve.
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